Lipscomb    Underground
02-01-1998 - LU#4 "Wonder Bread"

Come one, come all, to the best thing to hit this university since the steakums at Marriot, it's....


In this issue:  1.  b-ball
                     2.  thieves at Lipscomb?  that can't be....
                     3.  the Great Dean Davis Debate
                     4.  as always, a bit of humor for the road

On with the show, daddy-o!!

 The students want NCAA Div. 1 basketball!  Will we get it?  Is is too much to ask?  I pose this question to you because I have seen that your publication is a virtual "HOT BED" of student debate.  Could we see this issue discussed in one of your letters.  I think it would invoke much response.  I would appreciate it.  Thanks for your time, and for your relentless effort to seek out the truth at our fair institution.

       A fan who craves more than the mundane
     D. Parker

(I'm not the only one who seeks the truth, as you can tell by reading further.  And I think there may be some rule against 'hot beds' in the handbook.  :) ) br(ai)n

There was obviously a crime spree that occured in High Rise last semester.  It jusy kept going on and on form what I have heard.  But then after room searches were done It all came to a close, or so we thought.  The culprit has just switched targets and has moved over to Sewell Hall.
At the close of the semester there was one wallet stolen. and another incident of compact discs being taken.  Then upon returning to school for the second semester there was another wallet stolen, cash stolen from a room, and other rooms being broken into with just odd food items being stolen.  Whoever this is has some balls to continue doing this with the knowledge that a majority of the people on campus would enjoy beating him senseless.  So I guess that this is just a notice to everyone, watch your stuff.

 On guard,
Jacob Halls


 Okay, so you're all too pansy to write on the dean.
 Apathy, Brian, maybe...  Solutions?  Perhaps.
 The LU has always been a semi-sour political baking chocolate.  I wonder what would happen if we broadened the coverage base to include things literary.  Maybe we could get some irreverent essays Steve Prewitt wrote during his days at DLC and critique them (and I might add, get your hands on the '76 annual--there are some fab pictures of him and Brother Garrett.)
 On a completely different note, and ten foot pole in hand, are we even going to talk about the Prez?  I know it's unfashionable to care--but heck--I'm wearing a green Jerzees sweatshirt.
 But let's talk about this, really.  What we have here is either a president who perjured himself before the Congress, a president who avoided perjury through artful speech, or a long train of psychos in or around the White House who just want in the president's Captain America underoos.
 I'd like to address the psycho angle first.  I think this is really unlikely.  Boy, you thought the screening process on your first real job was tough, imaging trying to get a job as an intern on Pennsylvania Avenue!  I don't know for a fact, but I suspect that internship in the White House is no laughing matter.  It probably involves extensive background checks (probably even some genealogy work to determine if you have any anarchist blood) and a barrage of psychiatric evaluations.  In short, nymphos don't get into the White House unless they're brought in by Secret Service.
 On another note, Washington may be a big town, but there's a lot to be said for a person's reputation in high circles--as outdated as it may seem.  In our day and age, it would still be hard for an open homosexual, for example, to get appointed to the cabinet (all press secretaries aside).  It would be scandalous.  If this intern was, to quote my girlfriend, "a big slut, anyway," I find it hard to believe that it escaped the notice of somebody in the White House.  Mind you, I did not say the president.  With Bill Clinton's sexual life in question as far back as his governership, it would have been unwise to have a person of said reputation around.
 Did the president lie?  Did he have an illicit affair with an intern and then perjure himself before the Congress of the United States?  This may be a question of semantics.  I still have yet to hear whether his testimony under oath is contradicted by the statements of the former intern.  Hard to say.
 I'll stay glued to CNN.

(speaking of Prewitt, I've always wanted to read his masterpiece "Acres of Denim: tales from the Wildhorse Saloon".  you might find something about Bill in there as well) bh

 I am happy to see that something started a long time ago with some of my close friends, still continues.  I want to ask something.  I know of a student that was suspended for something that was circumstantial (sp) and that was done unknowingly. The student even offered to set it right as well as any other retrobution that would be asked for with the exception of being kicked out of school.  The board still booted the student.  Is this fair?  Where is the christian teaching of forgiveness?
 For those of you that may think I am bitter about Lipscomb, I am.  This is a high priced and a over-rated school.  I went here four years and it seems that the school is run by a "whatever phliosophy necessary" to justify the schools point of veiw.  If it is a christian school, then be more forgiving and more compassionate.  If it a school that has a christian influence (note the difference in phrasings), then lay off all the stupid rules like curfew and sign in and out and all the other garbage that the school imposes on the students.  Because a school that has a christian influence is one that wants the students to be christian but won't force them into it. I hated all the rules when I went here.  They are asinine.  And they don't protect you from anything you want to do they just annoy you like the rest of the school. Some I have know that graduated from here TRIED to break as many of the rules as possible without getting caught.  They did well as I recall.
 I would never send my children here, as I would never send them to a prision.  I know some of you are saying, "You chose to come here, you knew the rules when you got here."  I didn't know the rules nor did I chose to come here.  I didn't know the rules till they were recited to me at my first dorm meeting.
 Well that is enough ranting about how bad this school is.  For any of you that can move off campus and get some freedom.  Because they will never let you have it here.
 Yours Bitterly
 Jason Wade

(tell ju(stinkin') we said hi) bh

Brian and my fellow lu'ers -
Here's the deal.  I believe that, as a whole, Lipscomb students are NOT satisfied with Dean Davis and what he does here.  But, we realize that when we complain about him, nothing gets done.  So what's the point of complaining?  It amazes me that one man can manage to tick off nearly every major group on campus, from independents to social clubs and everyone in between, and yet he's still here and we can't do a darn thing about it.  I also believe that we don't complain because we don't know who to complain to.  The Dean of Students is supposed to be the liason between the students and the administration.  We can't very well complain to him (believe me, I've tried), so who do we go to?  I guess that my point is this:  I don't think the student body as a a whole likes the man a whole lot.  We whine and complain to each other about him, but when it comes down to it, we don't whine and complain to anyone who really matters.  I wish I could provide possible solutions, but I'm just as clueless as the rest of us.  Anyone have any suggestions?

Laura Johnson

I realize, as tim said, that being a dean is a tough and stressful job and i admire anyone that would take on such a task.  I also admire Dean Davis for other reasons.  Though sometimes i feel like he gets carried away, i feel like is a very sincere man and is a good model of a christian doing the best he can for God.  However, as Dean of Students, he seems to care very little about the students as individuals.  I'm sure he prayed for us as a whole and he thought about us.  But he didn't seem to care about individual concerns.  I know of several cases where students (myself included) wrote to him about concerns very important to them and we never heard one word from him.  I even sent an email to follow up a letter and i heard no response.  The only letter from a student i know he answered is when a friend of mine wrote to tell him he would not be attending chapel anymore.  So, overall i think he's a great guy, but if he is not going to give any attention to the students, then i don't think he needs to be their dean.
      later, eh.

(Achtung Baby: tribute to Dean Davis) bh

Cup Holder Warranty???

True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive.


That's all for this edition of the LIPSCOMB UNDERGROUND!!  Be safe and remember:

 Proverbs 17:8
     "A man who pledges lacks wisdom."  JKV

Sorry brother, I couldn't help it.

Thanks for reading, I'll write soon if you do.
Until I can order an instruction booklet on my fiance (never),
I'm ya huckleberry,
Doc Holaway

iron kids