Hello again! And welcome once again to the fun loveing

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*LIPSCOMB UNDERGROUND*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope all of you had fantastic weekends. I know I did. I had to

go with the Toadman to see his honey in Ohio. Let me tell you something. (and

I guess I am speaking to the men here) I hope none of you ever have to sit by

yourself while your friend is having his back rubbed by his girlfriend. It is

a most dissapointing thing to watch. And on that note...

It's time for the show.


The postin' place


If any one out there has some fans (electric preferable) that you will

not be using this summer, I, Justin King will be a noble man and keep them in

my room this summer. So remember when you pack up your stuff in your little

cars, you can leave that pesky fan in my room this summer and claim it when you

return in the Fall. Thanks so much. If you do have fans you can call me at

1637 or reply to this E-mail.

--Justin King




Live and PLUGGED!


Where: Guido's Pizzaria

When: Thursday, April 21, 1994

Time: 9:30 P.M.

Cost: $1.00

For more information contact William at (269) 1703. Or write to ewgladstone.

Come support your local scene and fellow DLU students. Shelf-Life's 11 song

debut album will go on sale for $5. Thanks.

(this band is one of the most kicking bands I have ever seen. It would

also do you good to get out when finals come up!) Js:)



*************************PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT***********************************





(Whoa, We're there dude. Hu hu hu) JS:)(

p.s. thanks Janna


Now for the time you have all been wating for. It's time for the

audience par-ti-ci-(consta)pation section of the loo. And remember to send

topics of conversation to me. I want to know what you want to see on here.

without further foot-dragging....

LU.DIS proudly presents!!!!>>>...???


howdy ho happy campers. what do you think about the extreme lengths of the

most recent editions of the underground? i would like to comment for a brief

moment on james stone, who according to jaMEs mcreynolds is the "epidome" of

chivalry. first off, what the fool is a freakin' epidome. is it like an

epilady, except for men who want to become bald. is it some new sort of

sporting arena, like the skydome or the georgia dome? or was some sort of very

weird fruedian slip in which james tried to spell "epitome", but instead of

putting the "to me" part, he put "do me"?!?! things that make you go hmmmmm....

now james very well may be one of the few bastions of chivalry left standing, i

don't know, but i am his roommate, and let me tell you, his chivalry most

definitely does not extend to the proper upkeep and cleanliness of the humble

and very small room he and i share. many mornings i awaken to the beautiful

nashville sunshine (or for the past few months to the dreary and drenched

nashville morings) only to look across the expanse of our room and become

absolutely horrified at the corrosion and utter filth i see. after slowly and

painstakingly trekking my way across the nation's newest and most dangerous

mountain range, whose highest peak i have appropiately named mount trashmore,

twice (to and from the shower), i just hope and pray that my physics homework

won't fall prey to some avalance of greek papers and dirty clothes coming from

the snowcapped peaks of mount trashmore and its neighboring mountains. i just

hope that i won't fall into some crevice hidden from the naked eye by a facade

of seemingly structurally sound conglomerations of those red basket things from

dairy queen and other paraphanalia. then, when i do fall into the abyss, i just

hope that the slightly congealed red substance i find on my arms, legs, and neck

is just that week old ketchup on those week old fries found in one of those red

baskets which somehow found its way to mount trashmore rather than the trash

can. besides all that, james is more than a decent roomate and guy, i guess.


Lee Mayo


I am new to the LU, and whew! I'm overwhelmed with the vast opinions expressed

therein (and the vast majority of typos/grammatical errors, but I'm not your

English teacher, so I'll refrain from correcting you, largely from fear that

I'll make a mistake as well and be deemed a HYPOCRITE--a favorite word on the

LU, apparently).

Anyway, I think it's great that we have this forum to express our opinions, and

that we can realize that people have different opinions and THAT'S OKAY! I for

one really love Lipscomb. This is my second year, and I have met some of the

greatest people (including students, teachers, administrators, etc.) God has

put on this earth. I honestly believe that the administrators and teachers are

here to help us. I mean, they could be making a lot more money at other

schools, but they chose to work here, at a Christian school. I can't say that

everyone feels the same, but that's okay. (Sorry for the Stuart Smalley


I guess my main point is that if there's something you feel is wrong with the

school, don't just complain about it--do something about it. Talk to the SGA,

the administration, teachers, whatever. I know from having talked to them for

the Babbler that they are genuinely interested about us. (No, the

administration did NOT pay me to say this).

This is by no means a perfect school, but there is only one perfect place, and,

believe it or not, Lipscomb wants to help us all get there. If you don't like

Lipscomb, then stop wasting valuable money and leave. There are plenty of

other schools out there. I know that some of you out there may not agree with

me, and that's actually good--it shows us that God gave us free minds and

individual personalities. Sorry for all the rambling.

Lisa "Am I making sense?" Watkins




Did everyone read the DESIGNATED CHAPEL SEATING POLICY? I appreciate

James Rose informing us about what is going on in our student government and I

hope he continues this. But I can not agree with a desinated seat in

chapel. If noise and disturbances are a problem in chapel choosing a seat with

your friends at the beginning of the semester will not help. You will be

sitting next to someone you know - or will know shortly after sitting next to

them 5 days a week. This would not decrease the noise level whatsoever. I also

disagree with this policy because I believe that it would promote cliques

among friends that all sit together and therefore would do nothing to

encourage unity and a focus on God. If you also disagree with this policy

Don't tell me. Tell your SENATORS!! They will cast your vote. As far as the

snow school policy goes.... I AGREE! I think that the recent snows revealed

how much not closing school can endanger the lives of off campus students.

It is a really good proposal, Katie.

To Lee Mayo:

About your pet sea monkies: A process call cryptogenics is what "magically

brings the monkies to life" when you add water. Basicall the little creature

have been freeze dried and all of the water has been sucked out of them. Life

temporarily stops until water brings them back to life. But don't worry, this

process can not be performed on humans (as the movie Forever Young would

suggest...) Dr. Yates (DLU's cytologist) states that we are too thick

to be freeze dried. :)

*Lara Orton*



> To whom it may concern at the ever growing and informative LU:


> LU is like Disneyland in a computer.......................


> It is not my practice to spend a great deal of time responding to stuff on the

> LU (I usually keep my mouth shut because I have an opinion on EVERYTHING... I

> feel that keeping quiet is usually best for my personal safety...)


> BUT...


> This time is different.

> I first want to CHEER Katie Lawrence for her action to create snow

> days... IT'S ABOUT TIME someone did something. Good job, Katie! :)


> Next I want to address a proposal so STUPID I frankly am shocked that it would

> even be considered. WHAT IN THE WORLD is the Senate doing even considering

> designated seating in chapel? It seems to me that, once again, some in the

> Senate are grasping at straws. Can they not find ANYTHING better to do with

> their time? This year's seniors remember designated seating in chapel. Thank

> goodness since then we've had something better! The administration installed

> a MULTI-MILLION dollar computer system a couple of years ago, and as a result

> we have SCANNERS! What a neat idea! They eliminate the need for "counters"

> and even allow us a quick and easy way to check our absences on e-mail. Freed

> doesn't have it, Harding doesn't have it. We do! For what good reason would

> we want to go back to the dark ages of chapel? After all, the administration

> installed the system to EASE all aspects of chapel. Why should we as students

> be subjected to the human error so prevalent in counting? WE HAVE SOMETHING

> BETTER! WOW! Not only that, but what is this PROPOSAL #22? My goodness---

> you'd think they were drafting a new Constitution! It's RIDICULOUS to make

> something so easy so complicated. What good purpose will this serve other

> than to just generally require more work on the parts of those who will have

> to bear the responsibility that this new venture will entail? My advice (and

> I am no oracle of wisdom...) is to LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE. If it ain't

broke, don't fix it!

> Dustin Adkins





This is in response to (Mike Johnston's) Finaaly's cutdown on Lipscomb in the

last LU:

Yes, I have been in the Admissions Office. I work there as often as I can as

part of my work-study financial aid. For your information, they aren't all a

bunch of good-looking Lipscomb graduates. Lucius Wallace, the counselor for the

to Memphis-Texas-Arkansas-plus some area never went to Lipscomb. But what

better way to encourage prospective students than to hire some graduates

who want to work here and give them a chance to talk to students from a

first-person point of view. Some of these people are new. Last year, one of

the admissions counselors got married and took a new job at Faulkner University

in Alabama If you had the job of doing all that paperwork, traveling to

different towns talking to a bunch of kids at churches, many of whom don't care

about what you are saying, calling parents and high school students on the

phone many times at night or on Saturdays, you might leave after 4 or 5 years

too. Let's face it, DLU doesn't exactly give out the best salaries in the

world, either. Maybe you should go on over to the Admissions office and help

out by calling some of the prospective students or better yet, go to talk to

one of the counselors and find out what their job is really like before you go

bashing them and complaining about things you don't know the whole story about.

You might just change your mind.

About the radon levels, don't just complain here in open forum with

fellow students. Write letters to the administration and voice your opinion.

When the president receives numerous letters about problems like excessive

amounts of radon in the dorms, I really doubt he'll just let it slide. Don't

expect things to change just by complaining about it--go out there and do

something about it!!!!

I am happy to answer any questions regarding any Senate proposals anyone

might have. Give me a call at 1029 or E-mail me at KMLAWRENCE. I'm not there

to vote for myself, but to vote in your best interest.

How about something positive about Lipscomb on the LU?? I happen to

like it here even though there are some things I have problems with. If we

focus only on the negative, where are we going and what is our real purpose for

even being here? To criticize? I sincerely hope not!

Thanks for letting me voice my opinion!

Katie Lawrence



It seems that in the last LU, the word 'hypocrit' was mentioned over and

over. True, people are deterred from churches because of the hypocratic nature

of 'all churches.' No sense in trying to deny the fact that there will be at

least one, if not more (I think I'll opt for the more...), person or people that

are hypocrits. However, I think that this is just used as an excuse not to

go or continuing to go to church. People see the "dos" and "don'ts" of

Christianity and back off away from the church because they see some people in

the church doing the "don'ts." If this was a feasable excuse, then I think

that the idea of becoming a hermit and isolating myself from the rest of

humanity would be an excellent idea! There is hypocracy in ALL of the world.

I mean come on, doctors tell you that smoking is bad, yet my doctor still

smokes. Hypocracy just doesn't cut it as an excuse any more. True, Christians

are SUPPOSE to be less of a hypocrit than everybody else, but we are human,

contrary to popular beliefs. That's life...It's not fair, but in the end, it

WILL be justified. That's my 2 cents worth. (Well, maybe 2 cents is a bit

high-priced for my opinion.) Have a happy, HAPPY day!

Love and Other Indoor Sports,

jaMEs McReynolds

PS--Jana and Janna, my apologies for confusing the two spellings of the name.

Forgive me?

(This is 22 lines including this one. I counted this time.)

(Now you have heard one brother's opinion, let's

hear the other's) JS:()


Ok....TIME OUT!!!!! What is it with everyone getting on everyone else's case???

This is a time to express your opinions, not crack on someone. Quit judging

people and telling them what they are doing wrong in life. Most of you are

acting like a bunch of mind-crazed Psychologist (Shrinks for short). No offese

to the psychology majors, but to me they are a bunch of people who get paid

to tell you what they THINK is wrong with you. No one knows anything about how

someones mind works, so lay off. Just keep it as a strict opinion!!! Quit

trying to analyze everyone....it's a poor way to show that your better than


Now, to Chris Challis- What did you say??? I didn't hear the question you asked


Ken- Sorry, I've never taken a foreign language in my life...I can't seem to

hear all the phrases and how to enunciate each word. My fault...

MAC (And everyone else)- How do you know if Pan doesn't know you??? Do you even

know who he is??? Didn't think so. If you do know him, don't tell anyone....

he wants to remain annonymous and I respect his wishes. And so should everyone


Stoner- I'm behind you 100% bud. Need me to escort, just call.

James, my worst half- Epidome? Is it a football field or a ice rink??? I think

you meant *Epitomy*. =)

Eric West- I feel better, do you??

Bart Bowling- NO it's not Basketball season!! *sheesh*

Lee Mayo- My man, I never knew a math major who thinks so much about the finer

delemas in life.

Everyone- RELAX. Quit trying to be better than everyone else!!!!!! Did you

know that you could learn a lot about life by watching turtles?!?!?

Until hearing aids let me fly,

Jack "Soundproof" McReynolds

PS-You could learn a lot from a Dummy!


Dear James, uh...ok. I am not sure why you would like my definitions of scum,

jerk and rape, but here you go.

Jerk- 1) A person who intentionally hurts someone and does not care afterwards.

2) A person who unintentionally hurts someone but even after they find out,

still could care less.

Scum- One who repetedly acts like a jerk.

Rape- Sexual intercourse with an unwilling partner (no matter what she does to

lead you on beforehand).

There ya go. That's how I feel about it.


try to spell our names correctly. To James and everyone else).

Janna Abernathy


Women are kind of like WordPerfect. WordPerfect has a help directory,

which if you push F3, will tell you exactly what you need to do. If you ask

a woman for help, you'll get the built-in instruction manual.

Paul Prill

(24 years as a sensitive guy)


Wow. I'm impressed by all those who wrote back so quickly. I'm glad

Lara and Dustin took extra special time to consider the Senate watch section

of the last LU: I hope if you care about what Chapel will be like next

semester, you will look back at the last LU: and read the proposal by Chad

Emerson. Another good thing you can do is go to the Senate meating monday night

and voice your opinion there. If you can't go, talk to your Senator and tell

them how you feel. I'm glad that this LU: wasn't as much of a bashing of

people's thoughts as the last one. I'm with Katie, why don't we only write

what we love about Lipscomb(food, showers, tuition, and the like). It might

make for a shorter LU:, but I'm sure the world would be a better place.

If you have a good topic to discuss on the UNDERGROUND, well, If you

have any topic to discuss on the UNDERGROUND, send it in and we'll talk.

--Editor's note


Well, that does it for this edition of the Lipscomb UNDERGROUND. I hope

you all laughed and cried at all my typoes and misspellings. Please don't send

it back to me graded (S. Prewitt). To all those out there not fortunate to be


Keep your feet on the ground, and keep praying for a basketball team.

Typing loudly for the hearing impaired,

We are,

Toadman & (Ju)stinkin'