LU#3 "Shake It Up And Go"
Volume VI - Number 143
January 25, 2000

issue #3 contains:
i.e. Johnny 99 & grade changes
misc. comments

        Last issues comments caused a bit of a stir. Johnny 99's claim of alleged grade changes for athletes was quite bold. As you'll read shortly, it generated several replies. I can't remember there being a time when a professor and an administration member wrote in for the same issue. But we have it right here for you to read.

        Enjoy this episode of The Lipscomb (Not-So) Underground.

I was just wondering what proof you had that the professers changed the grade of the athletes? I'm not saying you're wrong, just wondering how you found this out. thanx



I am replying to Johnny 99's statements about student-athletes missing a final exam in a music class. As Dean of the College of Arts & Humanities, I usually hear about "academic irregularities" as they are happening. This is the first I've heard about this, and I am interested in knowing details. I have started my own inquiries, but if you know the details you left out of your posting, Johnny, I'd like to hear them privately.

Val Prill
Dean of Arts & Humanities
Burton 322, x6044


The allegations of academic impropriety made by "Johnny 99" in the last LU are unfounded. I have thoroughly investigated the issue of a grade being changed and I can assure you, after talking with the instructor in question, that no administrator or coach has placed any pressure on the instructor to change a grade. Any further description of this case is prohibited by the Federal Rights and Privacy Act.

The allegations about the Department of Music were new to us. Dr. Valery Prill, dean of the College of Arts and Humanities, has informed me that she has instituted a comprehensive investigation, and that preliminary contacts with the faculty of that department suggest that no such incident occurred. Dr. Prill or I will be happy to share with you the final results of that investigation when they are ready.

Craig Bledsoe, Provost


Johnny99: Though I cannot confirm the specific charges regarding grade tampering, there have been substantial rumors about suspicious circumstances relating to the grades of several men's basketball players. Nevertheless when you apply your criticism to the entire athletic department, you infuriate me. I am extremely offended that you would compare my student-athlete friends to whores.

Additionally, if you believe the intent of the school is to "promote the basketball program and athletics as a whole," I suggest you study the discrepancies between the men's basketball program and every other athletic program on campus. I believe you will find that Lipscomb seeks to promote Men's Basketball. More accurately, the intent of the school is to focus all the attention and resources on that one program in the hope that the other programs might benefit from 'riding the coattails' of Scott Sanderson and Bison Basketball.

Don't ever call my friends whores again.

Jerry Sloan





My son's college apartment has a pleasant pepperoni motif
By Dave Barry
Published Sunday, November 21, 1999, in the Miami Herald

    So I visited my son at college on Parents Weekend, which is a nice event that colleges hold so that parents will have a chance to feel old.

    I started feeling old the moment I got to my son's housing unit and saw a sign on the door that said: END WORLD HUNGER TODAY. This reminded me that there was a time in my life, decades ago, when I was so full of energy that I was going to not only END WORLD HUNGER, but also STOP WAR and ELIMINATE RACISM. Whereas today my life goals, to judge from the notes I leave myself, tend to be along the lines of BUY DETERGENT.

    I felt even older when I entered my son's apartment, which he shares with three roommates and approximately 200 used pizza boxes. When I was a college student, we also accumulated used pizza boxes, but we threw them away after a reasonable period of time (six weeks). Whereas my son and his roommates apparently plan to keep theirs forever. Maybe they believe that a wealthy used-box collector will come to the door and say, "If you can produce a box used to deliver pizza on the night of Sept. 12, 1999, I'll pay you thousands of dollars for it!" Because they WILL have that box on file.

    They keep their pizza boxes in the kitchenette, which is also where they keep their food supply, which is an open jar containing a wad of peanut butter as hard as a bowling ball. You may be wondering: "What happens if a burglar breaks into the kitchenette and steals their pizza boxes?" Do not worry. They keep a reserve supply of pizza boxes in the living room, and if a burglar tried to get those, he'd trip over the cord that stretches across the room from the TV to the video-game controller held by a young man who is permanently installed on the sofa. This young man is not one of my son's roommates; for all I know, he's not even a student. But he is stationed in the living room 24 hours a day, focused on the video game, although he always gives you a polite "Hi" when you walk through the room and step over his cord. I'm not familiar with the game he's playing, but I noticed, as I stepped over the cord, that the screen said: "YOU HAVE BEEN AWARDED EIGHT THUNDERS." Maybe this has something to do with world hunger.

    After passing through the living room, I stuck my head into my son's bedroom. I was reluctant to enter, because then I'd have been walking on my son's clothes. He keeps them on the floor, right next to the bureau. (I don't know what he keeps in the bureau. My guess is: pizza boxes.) My son assured me that, even though his garments appear to be one big intertwined pile, he knows which are clean and which are dirty.

    "Like, this one is clean," he said, picking a garment off the floor, "and this one is clean, and this one is . . . never mind."

    There were no sheets on my son's bed. Asked about this, he explained (this was the entire explanation): "They came off a couple of weeks ago."

    I'm not complaining about my son's housekeeping. He is Martha Stewart compared with the student who occupied his bedroom last year. According to true campus legend, when this student moved out, his laundry was so far beyond human control that he simply abandoned it. As a kind of tribute, his roommates took a pair of his briefs outside, climbed a lamppost and stretched the briefs over the lamp. They remain there today, a monument to the courage and dedication it takes to put underpants on a lamppost. I was gazing up at them in admiration when a student said to me: "That's the cleanest they've ever been."

    Not all student rooms look like my son's. Some are occupied by females. If you stand outside the building, you notice that those rooms have curtains and pictures on the walls; whereas the males' rooms have all been painstakingly decorated with: nothing. The only designer touches are lines of bottles, and the occasional tendril of laundry peeking coyly over a window sill. We stood outside my son's building one evening, noting this difference; my son, looking at a tasteful, female-occupied room, said, with genuine wonder in his voice: "I think they vacuum and stuff."

    Speaking of which: During Parents Weekend, I took my son shopping, and we bought, among other things, a small vacuum cleaner. When we got back to his room, one of his roommates opened the box and held up the vacuum cleaner. We all looked at it, and then at the room. Then we enjoyed a hearty laugh. Then the roommate set the vacuum cleaner down on the floor, where it will be swallowed by laundry and never seen again. This is fine. These kids are not in college to do housework: They are there to learn. Because they are our Hope for the Future. And that future is going to smell like socks.

first:on this varnado issue, I heard an interesting opinion from a member of the staff here at school. If he was such an upstanding member of society and was the great man he is made out to be, why did he not voluntarily resign prior to the conflict with the school? He knew the policies yet like some kind of rat he hid until he was found out. doesn't seem like to much integrity there to me.

second: katie, about writing in the babbler. I went that route once, and was very dissapointed in the results. On more than one occasion my ideas were changed. I know that peices are edited for the sake of clarity, but the line was crossed on several occasions, including some recent letters to the editor. You should know by now that luers are very protective of what they say, so until those policies are reversed, you just might have to look elsewhere for contributions.

jonathan ling


Hey, just wanted to echo Adam Goode's post in LU #2. I think he's right; I think that, for the most part, one's enjoyment of the "chapel experience" depends on the state of his/her attitude when he/she walks through the Alumni doors. At least that has been my experience. It bothers me to hear people complain about the "burden" of chapel. I mean, this is the God who made me, who gives me air to breathe, and who I hope will let me wake up in the morning. Shouldn't I be excited and grateful at the opportunity to stand up and praise Him for a few minutes out of my busy day?

Jonathan Bradley


Having replied only once last semester, I figured that I would get this semesters post out of the way early so I can get on with my busy semester.

First of all, in response to just one comment that Stacy Shalvoy made, you have wrongly judged a Calvinists view of speaking where the Bible is silent. Learn a Calvinists view of the Bible, then you may make any comment that you would like. I have no problem with somebody giving their opinion, but when their opinion is based in utter ignorance, then that worries me.

Secondly, I am having a problem with many peoples feelings toward the Varnado situation or any situation for that matter. I was really disturbed by the decision (and still am), but the only information I was getting was from outside sources and not from the "high-up" officials. That prompted me to set up a personal appointment with Dr. Flatt (which he was graciously and openly obliged to give). In meeting with him, I was able to understand the situation from his perspective, which was something that I was unable to do before meeting with him. While I am still bothered by the decision that was made, I do understand the board's decision much better now. My only thoughts now are sadness because of a system that still allows such things to take place.

I voiced my opinion with Dr. Flatt in person and would plead with you to do the same if you are unable to put closure to this issue as I was. He is not a monster and is very easy to talk to. He told me that he is VERY willing to meet with anyone who has a concern about this issue or anything else.

Thanks for listening.

Jason Charlton


        The game last Thursday against Union cannot go without comment.  The student turnout was great, the gym was loud, the the players, well. . .they flat out got the job done.  Major props to Coach Sanderson for pumpin' up the crowd.  Keep an eye out for big upcoming games with Lindsey Wilson, Birmingham Southern, and Union II.
        The Lady Bisons cannot go without comment, either.  Support the Lady Bisons and remember Kaia in your prayers.
        The LU supports Lipscomb Basketball.

        Keep the replys coming. We want to hear from you.  Also, stay tuned to the web site for updates and details of upcoming issues.

Until it snows another three inches,
I am,

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LU#3 "Shake It Up And Go"
Volume VI, Number 143
January 25, 2000