LU#2 "Limited Parking"
Volume VI - Number 142
January 18, 2000

We're back again. It looks as though our transition from e-mail text to html was easier and smoother than we thought it would be. Once again, the LU has surpassed vast expectations.
The one point we did discover is that when the internet is down on campus (say it ain't so!!!) the LU slows down.

in issue #2:
a call from the Babbler
grade changes for athletes?

You may be saying, "Ryan, don't give them any ideas. There's some here who would want nothing more than to put a stop to the LU." But I ask you, if our internet connection goes down and the LU is stalled, who is it that looks bad? The way I look at it, we have nothing to worry about.

It is possible for subscribers to enjoy the LU more now than ever before. Thank you for your patience and your participation. Our best days are ahead of us.

The Babbler is getting cranked up for a second, and hopefully even better, segment of this academic year, but I wanted to issue a plea to all of you before we get too far into the semester.

We feel like we did a pretty good job covering the big news events of last fall, and, though we plan to continue covering news to the best of our ability, we want to spice up the editorial/opinion page with more than the rare letter to the editor.

We've hired a news editor this semester to keep up with the stories, so as editor-in-chief I'll be focusing more on opinion writing. But--and this is where we need your help--I don't want mine to be the only voice on the opinion page. One of the editorial staff's big goals for this semester is to make our paper a FORUM that addressess student issues and gives voice to student opinions.

If you AGREE with something you read in the paper or hear in chapel or see on campus, take the time to send us a letter. If you DISAGREE with something you read in the paper or hear in chapel or see on campus, take the time to send us a letter.

Granted, writing for the Babbler may not afford you the same liberty of opinion as submitting to the LU, but publication in the student newspaper gives your letter a wide audience, a place in the archives, and a share of the credibility that comes with a traditional publication.

The weeks when we published letters from students and a letter from President Flatt were some of the most talked about (and influential) issues of last semester, simply because people who felt strongly about a subject took time to express themselves in writing.

For us to publish a letter to the editor, the following criteria must be met: 1) Letters must be limited to 200 words (longer letters will be edited). 2) Each letter must include the full name(s) of the person(s) submitting and a phone number. Each person will be contacted prior to publication in order to verify the letter's authenticity. 3) Letters can be submitted by e-mail ( or sent through campus mail to the Babbler (box 4126).

Thanks for reading, and I hope you'll help add some real student voices to the opinion page.

Katie Boyer
Babbler editor

(Sounds like a great idea. Expanded communication on campus is a great goal. Wouldn't it be great to see the faces of those LU-haters (we know you're hiding somewhere) when they read a LU-like opinion in the Babbler? They won't know where to run.) rg


LUers - hear-ye hear-ye!!! The corruption of NCAA athletics has already crept into our quaint institution. It has been whispered in the corners of McQuiddy, but now it should be shouted from the rooftops of the Underground. The corruption I speak of is that of grade tampering by the Men's Basketball team. It has been founded that a particular player received a D in a math class and would thereby be forced to be inelligible to play this semester. However, the adjunct professor was forced by team coaches, school administration, and school alumni to change the player's grade to a C and thus making him elligible. Further infractions include a failure by two players to take a final exam in a music class. After a discussion with team coaches, the professors allowed the players to make up the exam, even though they failed to give a reasonable excuse as to why they missed the test in the first place. Needless to say, both student-athletes received A's on the test.

I report these facts to you for one reason alone: to show that the move to NCAA sacrifices the academic integrity as well as our Christian integrity as an institution. It is obvious what the priorities of the school now are, which is to promote the basketball program and athletics as a whole. We will no longer educate student-athletes, but instead buy athletes for their services much like whore house. Appearance preceedes integrity at Lipscomb. I can only pray that we can stop the slide into total moral decay before it ruins the entire institution. Let us put Christ back into Christian Institution.

Johnny 99


Hello all.
I have been silent for a long time. But with the new year upon us and the 21st century just 351 days away, I felt like this was a good time to weigh in with my thoughts. Bear with me as I have an entire semester's worth to catch up on.

First, I have to say something about the Varnado situation. His "departure" troubles me greatly. I like Doug a lot. But losing Doug is not the most troubling aspect of this situation. It is my understanding of why he was "terminated" that concerns me. It is my understanding that Doug had to leave beacause he "was not a member of a traditional church of Christ" as required of "all" Lipscomb employees by the university's charter.

Now I have never seen or read the charter *shameless challenge to investigative Looers to find it and post it.* But IF the charter really states that Lipscomb employees be members of traditional churches of Christ, then we have a problem. WHAT DEFINES A TRADITIONAL CHURCH OF CHRIST? I understand that Doug is a minister at Community CofC and that they played taped music during a worship service. This would put them outside "traditional" behavior for CofC's. But should that disqualify the congregation as a church of Christ. Some of the more conservative churches "in the brotherhood" feel like congregtions like Otter Creek and Woodmont Hills that use praise teams, stage seasonal musicals and welcome contemporary Christian music in their youth programs would no longer be classified as "traditional." By these standards, one could argue that Provost Bledsoe, G. David England and half the English department who all attend Otter Creek would have to leave Lipscomb!!! Now obviously, this isn't going to happen. So we return to our dilemma: Who decides which congregation is in and which is out under Lipscomb's charter?

One of the characteristics of churches of Christ is that each individual congregation is responsible for governing itself. Congregations do not operate under a denominational structure. (Give this statement a little leeway for the sake of this discussion.) Individual congregations are free to conduct worship, designate funds and fellowship with one another in whatever manner they choose. They are also free to call themselves CofC's on signs outside their buildings (or "Family of God" in Woodmont's case a while back.) Under this structure, their is no "earthly" authority figure decreeing how churches must behave.

But with the "firing" of Varnado, the Lipscomb board members and Steve Flatt have directly set themselves up in a "denominational" role. They have determined that Community Church of Christ, and by extension Doug Varnado, does not meet the standards "set" for "traditional" churches of Christ. I see a problem. (I am going to stop here and let others reply to this train of thought.)

I am going to skip from issue # one to the most recent issue of CLEP tests.

Daniel, I feel your pain. I too took the Freshman Comp CLEP test and failed it. I too was shocked at this result having previously scored in the top 99th % on the PSAT, SAT and ACT. I too thought it ludicrous that one could score perfectly on the multiple choice half of the CLEP exam yet still fail because two out of three English profs didn't feel like giving the essays passing grades. I too saw the conflict of interest of having Lipscomb English profs, who are paid (in part) by having students in their classes and therefore not exactly thrilled about passing people out of being required to take their courses, grade the essays by some "arbitrary" standard.. I too heard the stories from the testing center that in ten years, less than five people had passed the CLEP exam and how the testers encouraged students not to waste their time and money with the exam since "no one ever passes." I too felt the slap in the face of the English dept informing me that I didn't have the comparable ability of the "average" college freshman.

Now folks, some of you bashed Daniel and called him a cry-baby. Some of you even said he must have written a sorry essay. To you all I say, "SHUT UP!!!" You have had an opportunity to read my post. Are my thoughts coherent? Are they free from grammar mistakes? (Yes, I know I have mixed some adjectives, ended with a preposition and used the word "theirselves." But that was done for readablity.) Folks, I too say that the Freshman Comp CLEP exam is flawed. I was the editor-in-chief of TheBabbler in 1998. I have won NATIONAL awards for editorial writing. I KNOW a thing or two about writing. I am here to tell you that the English dept doesn't WANT people to pass the FR. Comp CLEP. The exam questions, which are standard nationally, are horrible ones. One of the three essay questions had me write a personal letter to my best friend. Now tell me how anyone can grade a personal letter to MY BEST FRIEND!!! With my best friend, I used slang. I didn't capitalize. I wrote sentence fragments. I didn't give a flip about misspelled words or dangling participles. And my "essay" was ripped to shreds by the graders. This isn't right.

Daniel, if it isn't too late, here is what you should do. Make an appointment with Pres. Flatt. Tell him your complaints. Point out the conflicts of interest.Tell him you are going to pay your $50 and take the test again. And tell him that you "expect" to pass. Then go and do the same with the head of the English dept. And then introduce yourself to every faculty member in the English dept and inform each that you will be taking the CLEP exam within the week. Next, go take the exam again. You will recognize the questions because they use the same test from semester to semester. In about three to five days, you will get a call from the testing center informing you that you passed. Trust me, this plan works. I did the EXACT thing just over a year ago. Oh yeah, just one other thing. You have to inform folks at EVERY step of the way that if you fail the exam, you plan to write an in-depth article for The Babbler (around homecoming weekend is a nice touch) about the problems with the CLEP process. It worked like a charm for me and I know it will work for you.

You see folks, if there is a problem, you have to be willing to fight the battle. You may get bloodied and bruised, but YOU can make a difference. Write to (and for) The Babbler. Give your opinion on the Loo. Harrass the heck out of the SGA to represent YOU.  Get involved with groups trying to change the way things are done at Lipscomb. If you don't, you have no one to blame but yourself when you see Lipscomb failing to provide you the best education your money should buy. (Rah-rah-rah)

Well, that about does it for me. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. I promise my next post won't be so long because I won't take 6 months to write again.

Until I actually earn a degree without dropping out again,
I am,
Steve Shirley

P.S. Ryan, I have been following the Loo on the Website. Love what you all have done with the place. The rest of you readers should check out the site.

(I'd argue that many COC's look to the COC Universities when determining policy. In regard to your kind words, the LU managment thanks you.) rg


Hi LUers. I just wanted to say: I appreciate the people who understood what I was trying to say, like Kate, and took it accordingly. As for those who chose to take my words out of context... get a life. I had a good laugh over that one, pal. But take my advice: find something better to do with your time than over-analyze every word I say and re-type words that I have already written. Sorry, I'm not God, I do err, and I make a humble apology to you, since you obviously are God and don't err, either that or were under the mistaken impression that I was. (which I'm not.)

With the Varnado thing, I thought everyone was entitled to their own opinion. Sorry for thinking that. I guess on the LU, as long as it is the radical position you take, you're fine. The minute you disagree with the fascist party line, though, you get into some trouble. Well, I was merely trying to present my point of view on the matter. If you want to study it like scripture and take it out of context, thats fine. I just think its a waste of your time, because believe it or not, what I say is not that important. It is just an opinion, like yours, (albeit "the wrong" one, obviously.) I'm sorry for challenging you to think.

As far as the thing with the CLEP test, I was merely trying to raise an issue. I thought thats what the LU was for. You raise issues. You shouldnt just regurgitate the same stuff over and over, because it gets boring. So I tried to raise awareness on what I considered to be a legitimate problem, and all the response I get is "YOU WROTE A CRAPPY ESSAY." Well, maybe I did. The head of the English Department didnt seem to think so whan I went to talk to him about the problem. In fact, he said he saw little wrong with it, it just didnt meet the standards of a "superior essay". Define that, if you will. I think it can be defined any way you want. He also gave me a juicy little tidbit of information, and told me that "1 out of 8 people who take the essay part pass."

Well, that doesnt sound like the deck is stacked to me. Come on, people, wake up. Really, I am tired of the CLEP thing. It happened, I did my best, and for whatever reason, that wasnt good enough. I was mad cause I felt I'd been gipped, and I was trying to warn others not to waste their money on a test set up against them. If a good deed can no longer be seen for what it is these days, you can complain about it all you want. But say what you will, I was only trying to do my civic duty. I think I owe you guys at least that much. I love you all so much. (oh, look, now Im getting misty eyed.) I love the red white and blue, and I stand for truth, justice, and the American way. And above all that, God bless America, and God bless the LU.

Until next time, I am



Selections from Seuss-isms

I learned there are troubles
Of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead
And some come from behind.

But I've bought a big bat.
I'm all ready, you see.
Now my troubles are going
To have troubles with me!
(--I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew)

UNLESS someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
It's not.
(--The Lorax)

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy
who'll decide where to go.
(--Oh, the Places You'll Go!)

The more that you read,
the more things you will know.
The more that you learn,
the more places you'll go.
(--I Can Read with My Eyes Shut!)

Please take note before reading - this is NOT about Varnado. I too agree that this is a topic that should die gracefully. I just had to say this one thing.

Kate: Yes, it is true that Varnado was given three options. Leave your church, quit, or we'll fire you. And, yes, he could have just switched churches, but I've had to leave my home church before and it is not an easy thing to do. But even so, all that aside, the school really had no right to make its decision and claim that it was because of tradtional CoC beliefs. The CoC consistantly says, "Where the Bible is silent, we are silent" (as opposed to the Calvinists - I think - who say "Where the Bible is silent we can do anything we want!") The administration was not silent. Where the Bible was silent (which in a previous reply I showed is not really the case) they made something up. There is nothing in the Bible that even hints that instrumental music is a bad thing - certainly not worthy of firing someone over. In every other way, Doug Varnado was an ideal professor. The ONLY thing that caused him to lose his job was preaching at a church where a CD that had instrumental music on it was played at a point during the service. Sorry, but I can't defend anyone who fires a perfectly good professor over a nit-picky thing like that.

(That turned out to be more Varnado-centered than I'd planned on. Sorry!)

Also, just because I think that does NOT necesarily mean that I don't appreciate the Christian atmosphere of DLU. I do. I attend chapel more regularly than most and I enjoy my Bible classes and I would not switch to a state school for anything. On the other hand, neither do I believe the school is perfect *disrespectful snort of derision*. There is always room for improvement, and I want to help DLU be . . . better than it is now.

Until the Varnado topic is forgotten by all LUers, I remain

Stacy Shalvoy


I just wanted to reply back to something that Kate Thomas had said.

I agree that chapel is a great experience. One of the things I like most about chapel is the time to take out of the day and just rest my mind from the material of classes here and praise God. He is the one who has given us the opportunity to attend this University and to make a difference in our lives. I hear so many people complain about chapel, but no one has given me a sound reason why we shouldn't have it. At one time, I too complained about having to go to chapel. I didn't think that I was getting anything out of it. I sent letters to the Dean's Office about my opinion. One of the best replies I got back asked me to read a passage out of the Bible. It was Matthew 5:14-16. Then it asked the question, "Is your light shining?" Since that day, I have put much more into my chapel experience. It is no more a place of last minute study for that test in Quantitative Methods. Now, it is a place of praise and worship to God. It is amazing how much we gain from things that we put something into. I don't feel like I am forced to go to chapel. I am given the opportunity to attend. The regulations that are placed on us make us feel like we are forced to go, but it is our choice. There are ways around chapel, you just have to know where to look. Honestly, I haven't been here a semester when I haven't skipped chapel. There are days when things come up, or days when I just don't feel like going. Perhaps, the times we don't want to go are the times we should go. It seems that those times our lights are at their dimmest. If you hate chapel, try singing one day. Try listening to what the speaker has to say. Try putting something into the experience, and see what you get out of it.

until reason is common among all,

Adam Goode


Kate—I agree with most of what you said. But, I do have one small problem with a statement you made. You stated that many Luers "are constantly complaining and not doing jack about it." Well, it seems to me, that the only course of action we have at the moment is to complain. And , as Ling said, our complaining got results!

In response to your question about where this school is going to get its money, they hope that in the future it is going to come from us (the current students). A large chunk of the money this school gets comes from alumni donations. I don't know enough of the exact figures to say how large a chunk that is, but I do know that it is a lot of money. If I were to graduate right now, I can't say for sure that I would donate money to this school. A few months ago I could say for certain that I would not, but recent events (for example, Dr. Flatt's Babbler Article) might change my mind.



The semester is in full swing. We've had our "please don't get angry with us about our chapel policy" speech, we're beginning to see Marriott meals for a second time since coming back, and I've had to park near Pizza Perfect at night on more than one occasion. How's the semester looking for you?

I'd like to echo the comments of Steve from above: Contact your SGA representatives and find out what's going on with them and what their plans are. In Write to our school leaders and tell them what you're thinking and let them know what's important to you. If you don't want to write directly to the SGA reps or school leaders, send your comments here, they'll be heard loud and clear.

Finally, take a trip to the website and look at the added and/or enhanced features.
If you do swing by the website, be sure to sign the

Until the LU-site is the standard start-up page on campus,
I am,

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LU#2 "Limited Parking"
Volume VI, Number 142
January 18, 2000