LU#15 "The Writing On The Wall"
Volume VI - Number 155
April 25, 2000


        Can you believe it's dead week already?  Holy cow.
in this fun-filled issue:
another business office opinion
re: LU#14
Undie reactions

        Let me take care of some business right up front.  I'm anticipating one more LU for the semester.  The next issue is your chance for a last word, a last prop, or a last general opinion before we all break for the summer.  But that's for next week.

        I now bring you this week's LU:


To the two who complained about the financial hold registration lady who most likely drives a broom (or a bicycle furiously with a basket in the front holding a little dog yelping helplessly), you are both absolutely right. Nothing like that should happen at a Christian university, or anywhere else for that matter. (My above allusion to the wicked witch of the west was merely humor, for those of you who will reply saying I acted in a not-so-Christian manner). Perhaps my number one (and believe me, I have many) complaints about this school is the people working in the offices, namely the REGISTRAR'S office and the BUSINESS office, my personal favorites. I can count on maybe one finger the number of times I have been treated like someone over the age of 3 months, BUT I think the real point here is that I can count thousands of times that I was treated rudely by very bitter women who must have thought me totally mentally incapacitated. As I said above, and as the two who wrote in the last issue said, this should not happen, especially not on a Christian campus. Now, while I've ruled out mere coincidence (I just cannot accept the fact that these ladies are having the worst days of their entire lives every time I visit one of their offices), the only conclusion I can come to is that students are not respected on this campus as being old enough to have the common sense to manage their own schedules, own finances, and especially their own opinions. ( I have an alterior theory that students are not respected unless their parents are able to whip out a four billion dollar check each semester with a huge southern smile on their faces, but now I'm getting bitter like those ladies. . . )

My point has been made, and I only ask these women who most likely will never read this and do not even know the LU exists, to please treat ALL the students you deal with on a daily basis with simple respect and kindness.

We would really appreciate it.
Jennifer McKibben




first: Little Ricky, I find it quite amusing that you end you post with a treatise on Christian life, yet you complain that the CC won't let you into So let me get this straight. We are supposed to live like Jesus, but its alright to STEAL? That is what that sight is about. Stealing music. It is pinheads like you that drive up the prices of music and movies. How about a little integrity buddy?

second: I have absolutely had it. Todd Aldin DuPriest, supreme butthead, loser to the point that he feels he must try to impress college students, basically a big weenie. I am SICK of you always trying to drum up praise for yourself. You are GONE. You are OLD. NOBODY but you and the rest of your loser, still looing, no lifing crowd care what you have to say. I would rather read the replies of DEATH and TORMENT then to have to sit through your histories (in which you always include yourself) of the LU. If we want the history, it is on the website. You really need to find some way to get some self esteem so you don't need to try draw attention from us. I hope and pray that I don't become like you. In fact, Ryan, as soon as the last issue of the lu comes out, please, please, PLEASE remove me from the mailing list. I hope everyone else follows my lead. We need to leave the lu to the students, not the crusty old farts who are always busting in to brag about themselves.

jonathan ling

(sure thing) rg




Okay, okay. The Undies were the last straw! Those awards that couldn't be given out? I got the point. I will no longer sign my replys "anonymously." I will sign my name, but I just have to say one thing. Don't confuse me with the other Cat/Catherine that replies (or at least she did last semester). Someone assumed I was the one writing last semester, and I was a bit offended because apparently she wrote something insulting about California (I've never been able to find it), and seeing as how I'm from there, I wasn't too happy. So, just a disclaimer.

I'll leave now, no longer "buckaroocat" but...

Cat Braun

(If you go back and read the early LU issues you'll find that nearly everyone (>90%) signed their real name, and nobody got lynched.  The comments in the last LU, however, weren't meant to be taken personally by anyone, only as a bit of humor.) rg




The kind words with the award for Prof. of the Year were humbling. Thank you. I would only ask that you personally encourage and thank the other faculty, staff, and administration who also try to make the lordship of Jesus a daily reality in their lives.

May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you all.

Brandon L. Fredenburg




I am so very tired of reading complaints about people signing their letters anonymously.  I see no problem with it, and I believe some opinions would go unvoiced if not for the ability to omit one's real name.

If it's so damn important that someone signs their own name, why not state that as a requirement for posting to the LU?  Instead, you insist on taking jabs at those of us who prefer to remain anonymous.  It's of no concern to you why we choose to withhold our names.  For some, it is a fear of retaliation.  For others, it is to avoid being slighted by our peers.  What if a social club officer wanted to comment negatively on his club in the LU?  He might never come forward if he had to sign his real name.

Some very important political commentary that changed the course of American history was signed anonymously.  Just take a look at "Common Sense" and "The Federalist Papers".  If not for anonymity , the authors of these documents may have faced some form of retaliation for voicing their beliefs.  Does the fact that the authors didn't sign their real names invalidate their arguments?  Of course not.

While we don't have to fear the Redcoats knocking down our doors for something we say in the LU, it is naive to think that there would be no form of retaliation against us if we voiced an unpopular opinion.  Even if that retaliation came in the form of laughter from our best friends.

You have two choices: 1. Change the requirement for posting to the LU to include that the author has to sign his own name.  2. Quit taking cheap shots at people for not signing their real name.  Celebrate the fact that a publication exists on campus where a student, staff, or faculty member can say whatever they think without a fear of retaliation.

I can't resist,

Bob Highrise

(Have a sense of humor, laugh a little, and lighten up.  Celebrate it?  Heck, I distribute it.) rg



The Politically Correct Quiz
taken from Uncle John's Giant 10th Anniversary Bathroom Reader

1.    In 1994, an English charity offered low-income kids at a local school free tickets to the ballet Romeo and Juliet.  The school's head-mistress, Jane Brown, turned them down.  Why?
a) She thought the play was "too violent for children under 13."
b) She said the play was "blatantly heterosexist."
c) She said she was appalled by the "lack of ethnic diversity in Shakespeare's plays."

2.    In 1978 the city council of Woonsocket, Rhode Island, struck a blow for political correctness by
a) Officially renaming the town's manholes "personholes."
b) Creating "ethnically diverse" streets, adding red and brown stripes to the white and yellow center lines.
c) Installing urinals in all of City Hall's women's restrooms.

3.    In 1997 the commissioners of Kelberg County, Texas, passed a resolution eliminating the greeting "Hello" for official county business. The replaced it with
a) "Heaven-o"
b) "Peace on Earth"
c) "Howdy, y'all"

4.    The Dutch founded the town of Fishkill, New York, in the 1600s (kill means "stream" in Dutch). In the 1990s, some residents
a) It sounds like their water is polluted.
b) It discriminates against fish.
c) It celebrates "animal cruelty."

5.    In the early 1980s, a white landlord in Tiburon, California (near San Francisco) put cast-iron black "lawn jockeys" on many of his downtown properties. "It adds a bit of charm to the place," he explained. But local activists protested that it also added a touch of racism. So the landlord painted the jockeys' skin a "pale Caucasian pink." Problem solved? Not exactly. In 1994
a) A local African American minister started a campaign to get the jockeys repainted black.
b) The International Jockeys' Union demanded that the statues of women jockeys be included among the displays.
c) White supremacists picketed the statues to protest the "reverse racism."

6.    In 1922, the high school basketball team from Dickinson, North Dakota, took on the nickname the "Dickinson Midgets." Seventy-four years later, in the summer of 1996, the town's school board decided the name was offensive and should be changed. The town responded by
a) Inviting a representative from Little People of America (an organization that protects dwarves' and midgets' rights) to discuss the issue.
b) Holding a recall election and replacing the school board.
c) Voting to change the name to the "Dickinson Little People."

7.    Which of these incidents really happened?
a) A six-year-old in Lexington, North Carolina, kissed a classmate on the cheek and was suspended for "sexual harassment" -- despite the fact that he didn't even know what sex is.
b) A customer in a Quebec pet shop threatened to report the store to the government's French- language monitoring office because she was shown a parrot that only spoke English.
c) The 20,000 members of Britain's National Plumbers' Association were instructed by the government -- at the risk of incurring a fine for sexist behavior -- to stop talking about "ballcocks" and use the term "float-operated valves" instead.

1. b)  At a news conference, Brown announced that "until books, film and the theater reflect all forms of sexuality," she would not be "involving her students in a heterosexual culture."
2. a)
3. a) The man behind the resolution explained:  "When you go to school and church, they tell you 'hell' is negative and 'heaven' is positive.  I think it's time to set a new precedent, to tell our kids that we're positive adults."
4. c)  Mayor George Carter scoffed at the idea.  "I think if they'd look the word up, they'd find out what it means," he told the press.
5. a) Rev. Jerry Buckner demanded the change, explaining: ". . .lawn jockeys were intended to honor - not demean - the real black jockeys who dominated American horse racing in the latter part of the 19th century."
6. b)  Three board members were replaced.
7. All of them.  After months of bad publicity, the school changed the charge to "unwelcome touching,"  the shop owner called the newspapers himself,  and the rule applies to "stopcocks," as well.  One plumber responded with an announcement that he would charge $22 to fit a stopcock, but $45 to fit a stop-valve.


To Ryan and whoever else put the Undies together:
Thanks for returning sarcasm and humor to the LU.  There have been a select few, like Jackson and Jack Foley, who have tried to keep us smiling, but too many replies have been serious and hostile this year.  The LU should be about having fun.  Thanks for reminding us that we can laugh when we read a LU.





Thanks to Ryan and the Luers for some great past issues. I'm at MTSU this semester, but it's always fun to read comments about the little world of Lipscomb. Hey Sean Harrell, long time, no see. Hopefully soon. Well, that's all I have to say. Thanks for reading!

Until David Lipscomb stops rolling over in his grave from things that Steve Flatt says...

I am Amanda Booth

(To what "things" are you referring?) rg




Tell me the time and place, baby. We're gonna have a go round!!!!




        It seems that there's been a bit of confusion among a small number of us.  I don't remember it being a conscious decision, but after the Spring of '99, I stopped putting a certain phrase at the bottom of all the issues, and it's now looking like it should have stayed.  That phrase was: "Requirements For email account, breath, and a sense of humor."  This line will now be included in all future LUs just to remind all of us that we don't have to take everything in the LU as seriously as a funeral.

        I said it earlier, but let me just remind you:  one more LU for this semester.  Seniors, especially, this is your final opportunity to sound off on an issue or just give your parting remarks before you leave.  (Or you can write in as a graduate and risk getting made fun of by those of us still in Lipscomb-land.)  You'll all have plenty of time to think of something to say, considering the fact that there are no tests this week, and nobody studies on Dead Day anyway.  So make the last issue a good one.  Or just sit there expecting someone else to reply and make it lame.  It's up to you.

Until Jeep Cherokees all over campus are safe,
I am,

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LU#15 "The Writing On The Wall"
Volume VI, Number 15
25, 2000

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