LU#9 ďNumber 9...Mumber 9...Number 9...Ē
30 September 1994

What a day!  I canít tell you how mad I am at the administration and all this Chapel mess.  I donít know why they seem to change everything that is good and working fine.  Anyway, I donít want to complain, I want you to complain.  Hereís your chance!  Itís...
...THE LIPSCOMB UNDERGROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Back for another trip around the slander highway.  Iíll shut up and just give it to you.  Hereís the Loo.
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TO MISS NANCY ANDERSON AND APACHE CHEIF AND ANYONE ELSE
May I start off and just say to Nancy, your great and sensitive and I love ya for that.  And now to answer the negitive responce I recived.  Thanks now I know that at least some people actually cared in some way or another about what I wrote.  Miss Nancy, I must from the very start say you did read into it abit to sensitively. And I do support the administration and their attempt to improve our worship, I never really thought I made any remarks that were negative toward the present changes.  What I do want to change and what I am tottaly against is forced chappel.  I say lets keep the new changes if they workout and get rid of it being forced.  Oh, yes, I did go to atleast one of my freshman Reps and ask for their support.  I really do not understand the responce I recieved from you and a much uglier responce from a certian unnamed SGA member(no not apache cheif, I donít think.)  I will take the oprrtunity and say to that person that if you have such a big problem with what I wrote please come see me about it and not others ok.  Anyways in my artical I ment not to bash the SGA or the administration and I really belive I did not.
NOW on to Apache cheif, first of all you should have enought guts to leave your real name if you are going to critize anyone.  I mean I am a writter and hey you have your opinion and I have mine but just remember one of the thing our forfathers included in our Constitution, that is of course the right to face ones accusers, so donít say anything if you do not have the guts to  leave your idenity.  Where to start!  I never said chapel or the 20 minutes of chapel was alot to give so you better never insinuate and try to misquote me again.  I belive it or not agree with you. I love chapel, I love worshipping my Lord, my God.  What I donít like are when certian people go in and disturb mine and yours, sratch that, when certian people come into chapel and disturb Godís time.  And you know something I have a Plea also.  My plea is for those who do not know Christ will come to know, love, and serve him but will do so on Christís and their terms, not ďOURSĒ.  Well I got more I could say but I will not.  I will say one more thing though, If you had such strong feelings for a article that apearded in the Babbler, then you should have wrote a guest editoral or a letter to the editor.  Next time do that and we will have a beter papper.
In Him
Eric Wilson
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As of yet I have contributed small amounts to this fine plethora of
literary genius we know as the loo, so here I go!
1) Women are BOOSH and always will be BOOSH!
(that one is just for you Challis)
2) Stop debating about this UT crap or thier PAST record, I respect all those UT fans for hanging in there for so long, but letís talk real football, down on the plains, the real orange and blue, thatís right-
War Eagle Baby!
Auburn University is unquestionably the best football team in the country.  Now you can bring up all that probation crap but the truth is that was over with two years ago.  Hey guess what?  Auburn has not lost in two years!  WOW!  Just think if we had never been caught in or mischevious actions- we might still be a resonably decent team like 6-4: UTís usual record!  I may be going out on a limb here but I do believe that 14-0 is significant and should be viewed as the best team in the country (and world for that matter)!
3) I donít mind being thought of as a red-neck every once in a while either!
(that was for you Jeff)!
4) Remember that time.........
5) Women donít always have to be BOOSH, but they usually choose to be!  WHY ASK WHY?
? Wes Self
(Wes, all that needs to be said....Florida v. Auburn....only
one of those teams will NOT be SEC champs!--challis--)
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My, oh, my, but there is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to comment on this time around.  Where shall I start???
1. To the residents of Fanning 301---  Even though Iím partial to
Elam girls, I felt the need to go by and meet the residents of three-0-one during their recent open house.  Whether or not I agree with them, I found them to be very friendly and Iím glad to have made some new friends.  I even gave them some rather tasty dip I had acquired only a few minutes earlier--- after they forced me to eat a finger-full to make sure I wasnít one of the bitter LUíers trying to poison them or something.  CHEERS, GUYS!
2. To the guy at the Citadel-  Perhaps I misunderstand you, but you seem to be very stuck on yourself and the fact that you are at the Citadel.  I commend you for the work you have done, but do you think you are just too good for us here at olí DLU???  Should you be telling us how best to do something that you havenít even experienced??? You have no business telling us to ďadapt and adjustĒ when you cannot fully understand the religious conflict that pervades this campus.  Iím glad chapel causes conflict, else weíd just be one apathetic bunch of Christians.
3. To Chris-  Cheers on your passage about feminazis (esp.
Shannon Faulkner at the Citadel).  I agree completely.
4. Cheers to Jami Shyers...  I personally like the new chapel option.  It enables me to avoid occasionally having to listen to speakers who I believe are not teaching the full truth (THEY ARE HERE...)  I do agree completely that we should have been given the option to vote for what we wanted.  Who really cares about Homecoming Court or escorts or whatever that crap is that they do ?  Let us give our opinions on what we feel is best.  Weíre all adults here... not to mention the fact that most of us pour THOUSANDS of dollars yearly into this institution.
5. To Brad Denton, my illustrious roommate...  What if Stephen
Prewitt, god that he is,  smoked Marlboros, drank coffee in Sunday school,  used the blue songbooks in chapel, had Jerry Gawís beard, wore Dean Davisí wingtips, and dated Lara Orton?  All this while holdong a photo of Dean Davis wearing his hot pants???  Would this be perfection???
And of course, it goes without saying that God only accepts worship by those who wear suits and ties to church.  We all know that.
And thereís nothing wrong with an anti who takes Prozac...
6. And, no disrespect to Pan, but I think Barnes and Noble SHOULD be forced to leave if they are profiting from pornography.  Their outrageous prices are enough to demand their departure, but the last time I checked, we were a Christian school <supposedly> demanding only the highest standards.  Iím all for boycotting organizations who profit from such smut.  Iíd frankly like to hurt their business a little.  We may live in the world, but we personally do not have to tolerate sinful activities.  We have every right to demand whatever standards we wish as long as they are on the Lipscomb campus.

Whew!  That was alot!  Iím expecting some hate mail from this one!
If you want to reply, please do so to the LU, ADKINSDC, or Box 904!
Thanks yíall...
Dustin Adkins
(Dear Dustin, I left your message intact because I thought it was that
good.  I do think we are a sad bunch of apathetic Christians) stink
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THE FASCINATING WOMANHOOD WAY TO WELCOME A MAN WHEN HE COMES HOME
FROM WORK
GET YOUR WORK DONE: Plan your tasks with an eye of the clock.  Finish or interrupt them an hour before he is expected.  Your anguished cry, ďAre you home already?Ē is not exactly a warm welcome.
HAVE DINNER READY:  Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal, on time.  This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
PREPARE YOURSELF: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives.  This will also make you happy to see him instead of too tired to care.  Turn off the worry and be glad to be alive and grateful for the man who is going to walk in.  While you are resting you can be thinking about your F.W.  assignment and all you can do to make him happy and give his spirits a lift.  When you arise, take care of your appearance.  Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking.  He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.  Be a little gay and a little more interesting.  His boring day may need a lift.
CLEAR AWAY THE CLUTTER: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in the back bedroom for sorting later.  Then run a dustcloth over the tables.  Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too.  Having the house in order is another way of letting him know that you care and have planned for this homecoming.
PREPARE THE CHILDREN: Take just a few minutes to wash the childrenís hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes.  They are little treasures and he would like to see them look the part.
MINIMIZE ALL NOISE: Especially give heed to this if your husband has to join rush hour traffic. At the time of his arrival eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum.  Try to encourage the children to be quiet at the time of their fatherís arrival.  Let them be a little noisy beforehand to get it out of their system.
BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM:  Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him.  Tell him that it is good to have him home.  This may make his day worthwhile.  If there is any romance left in you, he needs it now.
SOME DONíTS:  Donít greet him with problems and complaints.  Solve the problems you can before he gets home and save those you must discuss with him until later in the evening.  Also, donít complain if he is late for dinner.  Count this as a minor problem when compared with what he might have gone through that day.  Donít allow the children to rush at him with problems or requests.  Allow them to briefly greet their father but save demands for later.
MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE:  Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom.  Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.  Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes.  Donít insist on this however.  Turn on music if it is one of his pleasures.  Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice.  Allow him to relax - to unwind.
LISTEN TO HIM:  You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time.  Let him talk first, then he will be a more responsive listener later.
MAKE THE EVENING HIS:  Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment.  Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and to relax.  If he is cross or irritable, never fight back.  Again, try to understand his world of strain.
THE GOAL:  Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.  Then add to this the application of all the principles of Fascinating Womanhood and your husband **will want to come home** (thatís in italics) He will rather be with you than with anyone else in the world and will spend whatever time he can possibly spare with you.  Try living all of these rules for his homecoming and see what happens.  This is the way to bring a man home to your side, not by pressure, persuasion or moral obligation.
Chris Stone
(Again, box 796 for hate mail)

(understanding women...Hmmm, I think it canít be done.) stink
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To the people of the LU,
I am new here, having joined on the recommendation of a friend.  I just wanted to say hi before inserting my opinions.  Hi.  About this chapel issue of yours, I would just like to say that if chapel at Lipscomb is as pointless as chapel at Harding has a tendency to be, I agree wholeheartedly that it should not be a mandatory event.  Can anyone answer this question for me: does Lipscomb profess not to discriminate based on religion?  Harding supposedly does and I was wondering if it was something all of the christian universities claimed.  About womenís rights:  in our society, women have as many rights as men, if they want them.  I would like to point out that women have had the right to vote since just after World War 1, and that they have had a majority of the population since World War 2(thatís almost 50 years people).  If women seriously thought that they deserved more than they are getting, they should do something about it other than complaining.  I personally believe the 19th century theory that women should be like a lamp on a pedestal, and that they are above such petty things as politics, but most women insist on trying to prove that they can be as evil as men.  In the beginning, Eve was deceived, but it doesnít say that Adam was, it implies that he walked into sin knowing exactly what he was getting himself into.  I canít think of too much more to say about this subject, and I hope that I havenít offended any of you with this(because I havenít even begun to try).  Peace and Long Life.
Scott Biddle.
P.S.  Katie Lawrence- Chairwoman is not political
correctness, chairperson is.
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Hmmmm, what garbage can I spew this week? Oh, I know!
First: Iíd just like to say that I liked what Eric Wilson had to write in the paper. Me personally, I think we can witness to those who are not christian outside of worship. When I worship my Lord and Master, iíd like to worship Him with others who feel He is their Lord and Master also. Not with a bunch of people who hate Him and donít care for Him or those of us who do. If I donít miss my guess, the Bible teaches us not to allow those who do not love our Lord and God in our churches and our Worship service of Him. Please, someone correct me on this if I am wrong. I am here at school to learn, so, if Iím wrong, iíd like to be taught the correct way. Thankyou.
Second: I just thought I would add what few cents (or sense Jeff) I have on the issue being debated concerning the girls from Fanning 301. I really think that their is a mass mis-communication (Is that one word?). It seemed to me that the girls in Fanning 301 did not like being judged by what they wrote. The feel that they have been judged incorrectly (I hope iím right about that). They also feel that no one should judge another according to what they write, that you canít possibly know someone by what they have typed (Isnít that the position that they hold and held?) Well, I would like to think that you can judge someone, or, for lack of a better word than judge, understand someone better, by what they write. I for one, think I know quite a bit about the character and personality of Paul, the Apostle, because of what he wrote.
Besides this, the girls from Fanning 301 invited me to sit with them the other night at dinner (Thankyou very much!). That was kind of them. From what I gathered, they donít like Rob Mossack much from what he wrote to them.  Now, unless I was wrong in my first paragraph, and they didnít say anything about judging people from what they write, then they have just judged Rob, as we all have judged them, from what he wrote (wow, thatís a confusing sentence).  So, either they do understand that you can know someone better by what they write and would agree on this fact and attest to itís truth by sheer evidence of their feelings for Rob (none of them know him). Or, they donít have any feelings for Rob, and they still contend that you can know nothing about someone you have not met through their written words.
Sorry if thatís more than two cents,
Eric West.

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You know, if you want to respond to a Babbler article, you can always write us at box 4126.  I enjoy reading the LU, by the way, but us Babbler folks donít like feeling neglected, yíknow.  Anyway, thanks for reading.  (oh, our e-mail address is BABBLER - big surprise!)
? Trygg
To Eric West,
Please get your comic books out of my trunk!
(Since trygg let me borrow all his star wars stuff, Iíll advertise
the babbler on the loo.  You owe me bloodsucker!) :) stink
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To Eric West,
If you ever get a date, Iíll shave my head again!!  (Kidding)  Is it youíre wonderful singing of ďCome fill my cupĒ that is turning the dates away???
Concerned About Youíre Ping Pong Match,
Jacob of Memphis
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Here I come to save the day!!! This is your friendly neighborhood rodent entering the debate to give guidance to all of you opinionated, unenlightened morons out there. So letís get it on!!!
Let me be the noble knight on the white horse to come to the rescue of the girls in suite 301. I think most everyone has blown 301ís comments out of proportion. Their original statement was that the chapel situation sucks. I understand this comment to say that the situation is the point of their discontent. I donít understand how some of you folks out there are so quick to yell that these girls are defaming the institution of chapel.  They arenít. They have tried to make that point quite clear. (But some people wonít open their ears and minds to this fact.) I personally know one resident of 301 (and yes Eric, she is dating someone,) and would be willing to bet that she was not saying that God, chapel, or those that are involved with chapel suck. I believe that she and her suite-mates were simply trying to express their dismay over the current fiasco surrounding chapel. The administration has hindered a GREAT idea with a miserable public relations campaign. That is the situation that sucks. So please try to understand what 301 was trying to say. To be so quick to jump on their case was premature and somewhat cruel.  Now, Iíll agree that 301 came back with the wrong approach in replying to everyoneís criticism. They allowed their anger to cloud their reasoning abilities. The need to understand that all comments posted to this forum will most likely be responded to, and not always in a friendly manner. But as some were correct to assume, 301ís residents are new to this wonderful forum. They have learned a lesson the hard way, but I can guarantee that it wonít be forgotten. So with that, can we PLEASE drop this discussion.
Squirrelly  (Steve Shirley)
(There goes my anonymity.)
P.S. For all you LU subscribers out there: LEARN HOW TO SPELL AND WRITE LIKE INTELLIGENT HUMAN BEINGS! I have such hope for the future to know that my twelve year old brother can write better than half the college students on this forum.
P.P.S. Why didnít anyone tell me about this wonderful forum where I can complain about everything that bothers me. Stinky, Iíll be in touch.

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Stinky-
How Ďbout a deal, Iíll trade you, my hamster for your dead plants and Challis will never know.  Also the names of our three children will remain anonymous.
? Spunk  (Angela Hasty)
P.S. If any one reading this was the 3:00 am phone call I got, get some manners, a clue and originality, deep breathing went out years ago.

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Hello, out there to Lunch Lady Land.
Iíd like to say some things, so bear with me, please (as always).
First, let me get this out of the way:
Apache Chief:  Guns donít kill...people kill....
Now then....on to this Faulkner thing....
Stephen Crowell:  I doubt itís a question of the military academies being good enough for Shannon...itís the converse.  The standards at West Point, Annapolis, etc. are very high for admission due to the limited budgeting for more slots.  USMA cadets receive an estimated $200,000 education in 4 years.  Citadel costs the cadet (out of state) $40,000 for 4 years, while USMA is payed for federally.  Certainly, the respective branches will foot the bill for Citadel if a cadet gets a contract, but we have the option here of going in or not.  Thus, it is easier to get in here than the Federal academies.
Jami Shyers:     I doubt Shannon really believes in much.  She sued her high school football team to get on, won, and then quit after less than one week.  She obviously wishes to make waves, and it appears to be nothing more.  Citadel is not a place for that kind of person, male or female.
Miss Spunk:    OUCH....kinda rough???
I am one of 3 cadets receiving this publication, and any one of us should be able to answer questions about this issue.  And we feel rather strongly about this dykeís alleged case, so feel free to ask, and we will tell you how it is, how it should be, and how it will be.
And, yes, men DO have rights, too....
A liberated man under fire,
Alex Manjasek

GO DAWGS!
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AMEN to Katie, Monica and Jamie.  But why do we have to apologize for being in favor of equal rights for women.  Has the spirit of Rush Limbaugh so permeated the loo that we accept his definition of a feministóyou know, an androgenist (man hater, male basher) #and# a lesbian.  Is Gloria Steinem really a radical.  If you think so, you need to read some truly radical feminist writers like Mary Daly.  Reject the labels if you must, but donít apologize for arguing that justice and equality are legitimate ends to pursue in a democratic society.
One other comment.  Should tradition be the primary argument for perpetuating an outmoded system?  Imagine what the world would be like had the tradition of slavery persisted simply because we had always done it that way before.  Or, if you prefer, imagine your own private hell had the tradition of two hour sermons persisted.  If you thought chapel was bad now . . .!!!!
Paul Prill
(is there a F3 button on a woman where you can get help?  If there is,
could you please inform me where it is?)  stink

Thanks to all those who wrote in 80+ lines and took up lots of space.  Tally-ho!  I must ask all those who write and put at the bottom some cute little namí de plume (like (ju)stinkiní), please, please put your real name with it so people can complain directly to you.
Congradulations to all those who decided to pledge a ďclubĒ, and a MUCH, MUCH LARGER congradulations to all those who decided to stay independant.  Keep the faith.  (no offense Jeff)  Anyway, please remember the topics that are official now: 1. Chapel 2. F3 buttons 3. V.P. Clarkís boxerís 4. Not the BABBLER! 5. Fanning 301 and all the evils therein 6. Eric Westís dating delemma 7. Challis & his entrepid spanual stigue 8. Citadel Vs. Faulkner 9. Open Dorms 10. Stinkyís inability to think of 10 topics.
Thank you for reading, Iíll be in touch.
Until God makes a F3 button standard on all women,
I am
(ju)stinkiní
(Justin King)