LU#2 "Blessed are the Peacemakers"
vol. XII, no. 295
September, 2006

Hello readers, here is another issue of the Underground. I named it "Blessed are the Peacemakers" to honor speaker Terry Waite, an Englishman who worked for the Archbishop of Canterbury as a hostage negotiator and humanitarian. He was captured in 1987 by Hezbollah and became a hostage himself, and ultimately learned to not allow anger to turn into bitterness - and that through suffering something creative can emerge, something that can benefit others. You can visit the article about him here. While the article doesn't do Mr. Waite enough justice, it still shows just how awesome of a person he is (at least, in my humble opinion).

In other news, I am looking for a successor. I graduate in December (Lord willing) and am moving on to sell my soul to a really long internship. Okay it's not that long, but it feels like it. If you would like to take the helm or know of someone (LipU related) who could handle the Underground, please email me.

E-mail subscriptions are always available; just send me an e-mail and I'll add you to the list.

It seems as though the LU has become a somewhat boring venue for a few stragglers to voice concerns about the happenings at Lipscomb. Because I have been graduated a few years, I don’t really know what the reason may be. Back in the day the LU lit up with excitement every time something ‘crazy’ or absurd was occurring on campus, but it now lacks the intrigue and mystery it once held. Is it that Lipscomb’s administration has given in to every whim and concern of the student body, or has the campus become so apathetic to the campus changes that no discussion has occurred? Oh well, just some thoughts from an alumnus of the university that gave me a great education and a stronger desire to argue against the liberal movements in our brotherhood!


(i'm not yet an alumni, but i think most of the changes LipU is experiencing are for the better. - Nat)


Why is PM staff such a cocklicker? Why is he so busy "worshiping" his own feces?

Dr. Hilarius



I thought I would give an overview of the new chapel system over at LipU. Basically, Chapel is sectioned off into three different types: Mondays are Convocation Chapel, where a leader/business person in the community comes in and shares their faith and how they acquired success; the main idea is to show how faith can be integrated into the workplace and work more than just in Church. Wednesdays are mainly for worship, and is held in three different locations for students to choose the type of worship they like - Contemplative worship is held in the Ezell building, Traditional worship is in Shamlin, and Contemporary worship is in Alumni. Last, Fridays are perhaps the most confusing as they are considered small group/break out chapel, and also Service chapel. Service chapel is what it sounds like: applying faith through service and experience. Several opportunities are offered for Service chapel, such as a blood drive, disaster relief projects (from hurricane season), and adventure trips (biking, cave trips, canoeing). Instead of "skips" to keep track of, students now have "credit opportunities" to build up to. Each student has a set of "chapel cards," which are cards printed on paper with their name on it along with a bar code to scan; after each chapel and UB, they can place these cards in baskets to ensure they gain a credit. University Bible is essentially the same; the theme this semester is the sermon on the mount.

While it is still confusing and a little difficult to adapt to (those little chapel cards are quite easy to lose or misplace), it sounds very promising and offers a variety of different avenues of worship and praise. I attended a discussion (held by whom I call "the Chapel guys," those responsible for the new chapel changes) in Shamblin last Friday. Its purpose was to address any issues/questions/concerns students may have about the fledgling Chapel system. As a result I present to you a small, edited Chapel FAQ (courtesy of a good friend) hopefully explain some things:

1) Isn't Chapel supposed to be about worship? What's up with Monday's convocation/speakers not dealing with spirituality?

Convocation is for a purpose, to bring in leaders to address leadership and spirituality at the same time; arranged by the President/Susan Galbreath.

2) UB is supposed to be a classroom setting; why is UB considered this but we don't get class credit?

Students don't have to pay for it; during the old system, it was considered a bible class students DID have to pay for - so they would be paying for a two credit MWF bible class, and for a two credit TR bible class

3) Breakout chapels are expanded to try to include faculty and form a stronger, closer community.

4)Why are there not enough small groups?

They're trying to work on that - they are also including service projects and stuff to help out in order to gain enough credits

5) Are chapel cards really necessary?

They were considering using the small punch cards, but it was expensive. They were also looking at putting a "plan" on ID cards, similar to meal plans, but that also proved less cost efficient than simple paper cards. It's about responsibility - the student must take account of chapel credits themselves.

6) Why do we have to make an appointment (with Brandon Steele, current Chapel coordinator) if a card is forgotten?

Once again, responsibility is back on the student; it's incentive to remember the cards.

7) Why are there not more opportunities for Mondays and Wednesdays?

Fridays are mainly for experiencing spirituality in a place outside of a church or chapel building; they want us to experience these the most.

8) What if I miss too many days without knowing it?

They're trying to change the mindset from negative ("skips") to more positive ("opportunities") - gaining credits instead of missing sessions. The website is now up to show how many opportunities are left.

9) Can going to several Wednesday sessions make up for a missed Monday?

No, as they are different experiences.

10) Can Sanctuary count as a credit?

They're still talking about it...

11) What about athletes on the road?

If they're in Athletic Chapel, they can have it on the road, and take attendance; it will be considered credit.

12) Is there a specific reason that Chapel is at 10 AM?

Aside from joking that the Bible said so (haha), they said it's basically just a time they picked.

13) Akin to the two Chapel times available on Wednesdays, what about having alternate times for the other days?

The guys hadn't really start about it, but considered it a really good idea.

14) What if you had enough credits for all of the days, and were missing just ONE credit for another day?

They're still working on that, too...

15) Aside from Convocation Mondays, is there going to be another time that we meet all together - for the sake of unity?

Starting in October, yes.

16) Overall, the differences are beneficial for all of us. Yes, there are changes, but remember that we all are growing, even if we think we're not (such as working out - you're growing stronger even if you don't feel like you are). There is a positive side to all of these changes - focus on the positive moreso than the negative.

(aw man, i lost my chapel card....again.... - Nat)


Cheesy Filler

Mitch Hedburg on Cheese and Crackers

"I was in a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and I had a box of crackers and a can of Easy Cheese. It was dark, so every bite was a surprise as to how much cheese I had applied to each cracker. That's why I believe they should have a glow-in-the-dark version of Easy Cheese. It's not like the product has any integrity to begin with. If you buy a room-temperature cheese that you squeeze out of a can, you probably won't get mad because it glows in the dark too."

"I have a cheese-shredder, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, cause no one would buy it: sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge... that would melt easily over tortilla chips."

"I had a bag of Fritos, but these were Texas Grilled Fritos. These Fritos had grill marks on them. Hell yeah. Reminds me of summer, when we used to fire up the barbecue and throw down some Fritos. I can still see my dad with the apron on. "Better flip that Frito Dad, you know how I like mine.......with grill marks."

"I had a box of Ritz crackers and on the back of the box of Ritz crackers it had all these suggestions as to what to put on top of the Ritz. It said, 'Try it with turkey and cheese.' 'Try it with peanut butter.' Oh, c'mon man, they're crackers. That's why I got 'em — I like crackers. There ain't no suggestion: 'Put a Ritz on top of a Ritz.' I didn't buy 'em 'cuz they're little edible plates."

"I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same. 'What's a giraffe taste like?' 'A hippopotamus! I had 'em back-to-back!'"

"I like cottage cheese. That is why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado. It would be devastating."

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LU#1 "Blessed are the Peacemakers"
vol. XII, no. 295
September, 2006

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