LU#8 "I Know Your Mom"
vol. XI, no. 283
October 18, 2005

Ladies and Gentlemen, Fall Break has come and gone, which means only seven more weeks of classes and only seven more issues of the Lipscomb Underground. I hope everyone had a great and safe weekend, and that like me, you didn't even think about homework. If that's the case it may be part of the reason this week's edition of the LU is a little shorter, but maybe this will be a good study break for you while you're playing late-night catch-up.

By the way, your local LU host's book was found an returned to him. Thanks to all of you who went frantically searching for it as soon as you read it was missing.

E-mail subscriptions are always available; just send me an e-mail and I'll add you to the list.

On the parking situation, I hate it. More specifically, I have grown to hate the little yellow "S's" all over campus. I hate Senior Parking. Now I'm a Senior, so I should enjoy Senior Parking, except that I live off campus and I'm not allowed in those spots. Not only do Senior parking spots help incubate the cliquish feeling of superiority that some students have over over others, and our vainly selfish ways, but they are so arbitrary in their spacing that they don't make sense. Also they don't hardly enforce them. I have parked in these wretched little spots over a dozen times and not gotten a ticket. By the law of averages, I should have gotten one at one point. As a result I do not observe senior parking.

One good point though, is that the recent Highway Bill passed by Congress and signed by President Bush included a $3 million dollar grant to Lipscomb for the construction of a new parking garage. (This part is just unconfirmed speculation, but this parking garage should include 300 to 400 spots and construction is supposed to start in January.)

Until Lipscomb looks deep into our souls and assigns us a numbered parking space based on the order in which we applied, I am

Captain Happy

P.S. Where is that reference from?????

(I don't know, Captain, but thanks for the scoop on the parking lot. And in my opinion, not having your own 'S' spot is a small price to pay for the benefit living off campus. -- Justin)


Hear ye, hear ye, I whole-heartedly support Jeremy's newly-coined terminology "location-whoring"!

Wouldn't it have made more sense for them to build another parking garage behing Elam instead of just paving it? Come on people, use your noodle!

peace out,

penny tyler aka spicey

(Sure, but if they'd have done that, then... then... Wait a minute. Why didn't they do that? My guess is it has to do with economic leverage (aka $$). -- Justin)


Gas prices return to a normal level? Adjusting for inflation, gas costs now about what it did 20-25 years ago. To fight fuel costs, I've started taking the bus to work. Of course, my employer graciously pays my bus fare. Too bad (most) Lipscomb students are too rich/snooty to ride the bus. In case you haven't heard, Belmont recently started picking up the tab for its students and employees to ride on MTA and Vanderbilt has been since last summer. Also, riding the bus saves you from having to hunt for a parking place for that gas-guzzling behemoth of an SUV or the sports car daddy bought for you.

I agree that the university needs to start hiring non-CoC Christians. It's worked for Belmont. Yeah, so Belmont will be breaking from the Southern Baptist Convention soon, but the SBC didn't found the university in the first place. You know it's bad when Belmont is hiring CoC professors away from Lipscomb.

to the Lance: Complaining about Lipscomb's problems on some random website won't change anything--every LU-landian should know that.

to Jeremy Howard: Don't you have better things to do now that you're "Staff" than post on the LU? I should give my friend Dennis a call--appearently he isn't giving enough work to keep you busy.

Until the world runs out of fuel, I am

Bus Ridin' Fool

(Does this post make anyone else think of Queen and Weird Al? -- Justin)


I have to say that UB this semester has been a very uplifting and positive experience for me. Today's talk (Tuesday 11/18/05) was very good, but I also found it frustrating. If you happen to be reading, Dr. Camp, perhaps you could help me out here? If not him, then maybe someone else?

I hope we can continue to admit to ourselves that our "dream nation" is just that, and that it's going to fall just like every other human empire. I also agree that we should choose our heroes as those men and women who have given their lives for the gospel, and stories of the martyrs encourage me, but at the same time I'm discouraged. No-one where I live today is getting fed to wild animals or thrown in jail because they're Christians or refuse to acknowledge the deity of the president. Where do we fat American Christians suffer for the gospel? Can anyone give me some current (as in last decade) examples of Americans who have sacrificed everything for the kingdom of God? If not that, how about at least a probable hypothetical? It bothers me that either we are missing our call to persist in suffering, or we are not so called, which suggests that perhaps God for some reason has not found us worthy of that call. I realize that there are scores of believers throughout history that would probably see me as spoiled, whiney, and not at all aware of what I'm talking about and how good I've got it, but this is where I am.

Until American disciples are refined by fire, I am


PS -- I didn't do it here, but I think someone needs to take a hard look at why campus ministry keeps plugging the "LU Music Store". What exactly can we get there that isn't available on iTunes? Is it really worth selling our consumeristic souls? And what does it have to do with campus ministry?

(Maybe we're all supposed to download the latest Barlow Girl hit... That's kind of like ministry, right? -- Justin)


Cheesy Filler

16 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

  1. Sit up. Say, "Time to make the donuts." Leave. Do this often.
  2. Every five minutes, get up, open the door, peek out, close the door and look relieved.
  3. Express an extreme fear of sunlight. Move away from and flinch at areas of the room that are sunny.
  4. Pick up the phone every five minutes and say, "Hello." Look confused and hang up.
  5. Unwrap a candy bar. Eat the wrapper and throw the chocolate away.
  6. When listening to the radio, sing along with different lyrics and a different tune.
  7. Address your roommate by a different name every time you talk to him or her
  8. Constantly drink from an empty glass.
  9. Every time you handle something of your roommate's, use a tissue or gloves.
  10. While unlocking your door with the key, complain that the engine won't start.
  11. Name your animal crackers. Mourn for them after you eat them.
  12. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss the situation.
  13. Keep a hamster as a pet. Buy a blender, and make a milkshake every day. Then, one day, give the hamster to a friend. Make a shake using a lot of ketchup. When your roommate comes in, look at the shake, look at the empty hamster cage, and say, "I was curious."
  14. Try to make meals using your roommate's electric blanket.
  15. Put black tape over the eyes of the people in your roommate's pictures. Complain that they were staring at you.
  16. Everytime your roommate falls asleep, wait ten minutes, wake him or her up and say, "It's time to go to bed now."

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LU#8 "I Know Your Mom"
vol. XI, no. 283
October 18, 2005

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