LU#5 "You Can't Have Too Many Moogas"
vol. VI, no. 161
September 25,  2000


Hey, everybody!  

Welcome back to the most fun you can have on the internet at Lipscomb.  
a message from high rise
replies to Georgy
phone center

You're reading The Lipscomb Underground and we're serving up some of your (the students') opinions.  That's right, students (and we mean any students) write in their replies, we "publish" them completely uncensored (so as to protect the integrity of the student's opinion), and send it out to any student that wants to receive it.

It goes something like this: 


God I hope that person was for real, because if someone made this up, i have just wasted 5dollars of my Corporations money,

Let your balls drop son, and when you come to the table, talk in your big boy voice. Hey, its proven that alcohol, in moderation, helps fight heart disease! So what if the Lipscomb students, not being allowed to purify ourselves through strong spirts, make up for lost time on the weekends.

You remind me of the little kid that gets picked on in South park, PiP. You are now deemed Frenchy!

Until the bottom level of the parking garage is named the poop chute,
I am
Buck Mizell

P.S. Is that you Captain Cave man, Josh brewer, Aka CAN O' WORMS?

(And now Lipscomb students are watching Southpark. . .heavens!!!) rg


Hey Gregory, lighten up buddy! Very soon you'll step into the real world and see that folks drink. Even more shocking to you, and the plethora of others living in utopian bliss, you'll see it isn't wrong - I conduct mucho business over a cocktail and a golf ball. Now your gonna start some Biblical arguement here, well I say this Jesus drank wine and I bet you a million it wasn't the non-alcoholic version. Further, Jesus, in his first miracle, provided the wedding party with more booze when they ran out. I say that was pretty cool of him. You see that would have been the perfect opportunity to condemn all drinking - when everyone was abusing the ole vino and wanted more. I asked an esteemed Bible prof about this story in class. For the record he couldn't anwser and actually stumbled around on those facts. No where does it say not to drink alcohol, I looked. I will grant you that adbuse of alcohol is absolutely wrong. The Good Book warns us about being drunk. After some of those Bible Classes and University Chapels I needed a cold one - the boys and I always enjoyed a bucket in the fall or spring at SATCO - and never once did we believe we were consuming "the blood of Satan". Odds are I will not donate to Lipscomb until they change the drinking policy. Its no one's business what legal aged folks do off campus.

In the mean time, might I suggest you start with something blended - a little light and fruity.





Hello LUers,

First I just want to say to Georgy, you must be a freshman dude. OK I won't rant too much, but what was Jesus first miracle: water to WINE. Hello, open you're eyes man, alcohol isn't evil, people are. But we won't get into that. Just remember only in excess is it a bad thing. This guy's lived a sheltered life.

Second, everyone else has done it so I'm going to. This parking stuff sucks. I missed my bible class(oh no I'm going to hell now) because I couldn't find a place to park.

Third, I really don't have a third, but when you've got a first and a second you always have to have a third. For those of you who don't get it this is a joke about outline formatt.

Until I truely am
I am,
King Beej

(Our best speakers on campus usually group things we can learn into threes.) rg 



In response to UB on Tuesday 9/19 and in response to my last reply in the LU, I guess I owe an apology to the president. OK, maybe not an apology, more of a "thankyou." So here it is, "Thankyou!" Fellow LUer's let this be an example to all of you, your replies to the LU work. In case you forgot the content of my previous reply, I complained about the unwillingness of Dr. Flatt to acknowledge his (and the rest of scholars') ignorance in difficult passages of Scripture. Low and behold, in the first UB after that "complaint" not only does he confess not completely understanding a passage, he does it often. Simply a coincidence, (you probably think "yes"). You are probably right in thinking that, but for this easy going person, that is confirmation enough to get me through the day. His credibility goes way up when I can relate to him in not knowing some of the hidden mysteries in Scripture. Hopefully I can be done being nitpicky (sp?), but well, if you have something to say, what a better format than the LU to try it out. (You can try the Babbler if you want. Been there. Tried that. No results.) I still remember Doug Varnado. Miss him. Hope Lagard gets his bottom kicked and Lipscomb sees what they are missing in Randy Harris. Bring back Fredenburg. And, this is for the administration who reads this, STOP CALLING MY FAMILY FOR MONEY. All their donations to this school will be received by me thank you very much. Does anyone else's families get Sunday evening solicitation phone calls from this school. That is horrible. I am done being negative now. (it is so hard, though, when they make it so easy.)

'79 Metz

(Yes, I am done whining.)

(No kidding, my grandma isn't exactly in a position to donate to a school.  Sorry Lipscomb, but you're several notches below living expenses and health care costs with the senior members of my family.) rg



Reverend Lloyd Floyd's sermon on Wine and Alcoholic Beverages:

Georgy, either you're trying to be funny or you're a complete nut-case. I can't decide which yet. Are you foreign? That could explain some cultural differences, and how you might not understand that when I said "here's to the LU" that I was not REALLY toasting the LU while consuming alchoholic beverages. It's actually just an expression I use. It's like saying "kudos" or what-have you. I just think it's funny that you took what I said so out of context. So if you are foreign, I understand. I'd hate to shatter your cultural illusion as to the true nature of wine. If not, though, read on.

Paul tells Timothy to drink a little wine for his stomach in either first or second Timothy (find it yourself). Obviously he is not telling Tim. to get drunk. This would also refute your statement that Alcoholic Beverage is the blood of Satan, especially since the early Church did not have Welch's Grape juice and probably drank wine for communion. In that case, the alcoholic beverage would be the blood of Christ, and I highly doubt that it could be both the blood of Satan and the blood of Christ at the same time. Unless, of course, Jesus and Satan are one and the same. I don't think they are, but you are entitled to your own opinion, I suppose, so I will not judge you for thinking Jesus and Satan are both the same. That is, I will admit, one of the finer points of theology. Even the Pharisees thought Jesus was the devil, so I suppose they must have their modern day counterparts. I'm just sorry you had to be one, and I'll be praying for your soul. The Peace of the Lord Jesus be with you.

Until Georgy learns to tell the difference between Jesus and Satan, I am
The Reverend Lloyd Floyd Freud
(formerly known as Daniel)
Spouting off incoherent Theology 4-life!


Olympic Results

Women's Trampoline
Medal Country Athlete Score
Gold Russia Irina Karavaeva 38.90
Silver Ukraine Oxana Tsyhuleva 37.70
Bronze Canada Karen Cockburn 37.40
4th Place Uzbekistan Ekaterina Khilko 36.60
5th Place Belarus Natalia Karpenkova 35.80
6th Place Japan Akiko Furu 35.30
7th Place Georgia Rusudan Khoperia 34.10
8th Place Germany Anna Dogonadze 5.00

Men's Trampoline

Medal Country Athlete Score
Gold Russia Alexandre Moskalenko 41.70
Silver Australia Ji Wallace 39.30
Bronze Canada Mathieu Turgeon 39.10
4th Place France David Martin 38.80
5th Place Belarus Dimitri Polyarush 38.10
6th Place Britain Lee Brearley 37.90
7th Place Netherlands Alan Villafuerte 27.60
8th Place Ukraine Olexander Chernonos 7.50



Is that some sort of joke. Red Dog, let's grab a Coors, call up my women, hotbox my car, and head up to Cincy to see the Reds. Yeah, Yeah.


the postin' place

Who is responsible for alleviating suffering?
The Hesitation of Church and State

Is it the State's responsibility?
The Church's?
A combination?
Dr. Lee Camp, Dr. Donald Cole, Dr. Richard Goode and Dr. Guy Vanderpool bring their opinions to the table in a panel discussion that you won't want to miss.

Tuesday, September 26
7:30, Swang 108


Baggett, quit writing in everytime.

Big Boy



OK! The silence has gone on for too long. Someone has to step up and speak about it, I guess that will have to be me. Now, let me get this straight. High Rise was renovated, right? 3 million and some change to make it into a nice dorm again. First, they messed with us and gave us really nice furniture and glass tables for the lobby. Well, they took it away! They left the stupid tables (Did I mention that they are glass tables, what were they thinking?), but gave us this crap that is basically "Make your own living room out of 20 odd pieces of blue-leather, chair shaped blocks--don't worry, I know they wouldn't give us real leather, but they did give us glass tables, you never know. Ok, we dealt with that, mostly due to the fact that we are all still pretty mad that we didn't have cable in High Rise for a few weeks. Hello, try starting college football season only getting a fuzzy CBS and ABC! I'm not going to mention the fact that the network sucks in High Rise and basically connects and disconnects at least three to four times every second. OK, maybe that's pushing it, but it sucks. One minute you can be checking e-mail and the next minute you can be watching the hour glass for a good hour because it just stops (Not that I have time to watch a non-moving hour galss on a computer screen for an hour). 

Well, moving on to the shower situation. They renovated High Rise for 3 million odd dollars and all we get is fancy moveable furniture, the same old bunk beds, the same old bathrooms, the same old doors (But, with a nice blue paint job where you can still see all the Greek letters from various social clubs over the years), and new carpet in the halls, but no new showers. Instead they take the showers and screw them up. Now, there is hardly any water pressure. I can hardly rinse the shampoo out of my hair, and I have hair that is less than an eighth of an inch long. Something needs to be done! I guess that we were spoiled by the last few years of good water pressure--the kind that when you turn it on, it would blow the curtain out the door. I understand that they're trying to conserve water, but it's getting about as conservative as UT's offense. Instead of making high rise better, they just painted over everything to make it look new and screwed with our showers. They haven't replaced the stalls in the bathrooms, because there are the same old brown doors that are on one hinge. I guess it's alright, but only one of the doors actually stays closed when you latch it, because the other two don't have a latch. 

I would like to thank my boy, Jared, for fixing our AC. Everybody in 817 loves you Jared. Moving on, I guess I'm just in a complaining mood, that's what I've been doing all day, even with our SGA President, Sam "Do You Know Who I Am" Crutcher. We spent the evening at dinner discussing all the problems at High Rise, all the problems with construction, the parking deck (Which, we subit, "That Place Where You Park Your Cars. You know, Where Yearwood Used To Be" to be the new name, although I can't take all the credit for it, some props need to go out to Greg Kirby), the radio station not being up, BET still not back, the network, and every other thing wrong, especially, not having the Peace Pole up yet (But that is something totally different). Well, I guess I have spoken enough. I'm not the only one that feels this way, trust me.

Well...until Penn State or the Steelers win a game...I am,

Joseph Dunkleman

(A bit fed up on the 8th floor, aren't we?  Read on. . .  But first, could there be a promotion in the near future for Jared?  There was a recent opening above him in the facilities department, and we all know he's a good one.  We'll see.) rg



ok, i'm losing my lu writing virginity. (to those of you that don't know steve rowley and are easily offended, i only mean that this is my first time writing). room 817's in the mood for complaining, so here i go. where to start? high rise? what the heck! 3 million dollars? for what? itty-bitty mattresses that my feet hang off, showers that drizzle, elavators that don't work any better but have fancy new flashing lights to entertain us on the ride. oh yeah, nice wireless network connections. how did we ever live without that? at least every now and then we get to open our 8th floor window for some fresh air, well until the storm troopers come around. and where the hey did the comfortable couches in the lobby go? we don't want that horse-shoe looking thing we've got now. reminds me of sewell. ok, moving on... student center? the new couches are nice, but that and the 80's neon lights are the only significant difference. on the plus side we don't get chips with pizzas anymore on our meal plans. my biggest gripe, how's the school gonna treat ms. linda like that? put her in a little closet? forget varneado, this is a travesty. and what's with the porta-johns? can't we just let the construction workers whiz in the inside bathrooms like the rest of us? are we so snobby we can't share bathrooms with lowly construction workers? speaking of bathrooms, i've been impressed with the lack of social club graffiti in the stalls (seriously). you know, when i'm making use of the facilities, i really don't care that "sid rocks". i know, i'm complaining alot, but hey, at least its only for "a couple more weeks". the only other thing i've got to complain about is, "where was john cecil, the diesel cantrell's (my RA and personal hero) article in the babbler? I'm not sure how i'm going to hold together for a week without it.

on to higher matters, i attended the debate between F. Lagard Smith and Randy Harris, and i've got to say, "good job" to both men. i was glad to have dr. harris back on campus. i thought he did a phenomenal job with a difficult task of arguing something contrary to his beliefs. but i've got to ask, why couldn't we get a real atheist? are we scared he might make a good point? as smart as dr. harris is, and as much as i respect him, i know that deep down he desperately wanted to lose that debate. how do we expect to get a satisfying answer when we ask a role-player, "if you don't believe in a loving god, where's the source of your hope?" i think a real atheist might have a real answer for that, but there's no way dr. harris could understand that. so to the conversations committee, thanks for the well planned event, but if we're going to debate theism vs atheism, lets at least give the atheists a fair chance to say their piece.

well, until "that place where we park our cars, you know, where yearwood used to be" (the humble submission of room 817) and the asherah... i mean peace pole comes to solve all our problems,

i am the 3rd most cynical man on campus (props to joseph dunklemeyer and sam "do you know who i am" crutcher)


(Abstaining from the LU has not, and never will be recommended.  Be as promiscuous as you want.) rg



The Underground has received several ideas for the naming of the new parking deck in addition to the one mentioned above.  They follow, in no particular order:

  • The Tower of Babel
  • The Cluster
  • Discotheque Parking Deck
  • The Day Student Parking Deck
  • The Stop Complaining Now Parking Deck
  • The Parking Deck Formerly known as Yearwood Hall
  • My First Parking Deck
  • The "I Can See High Rise From Here" Parking Deck
  • PDLU
  • Park Place
  • The "Wow, That Fine Arts Building Sure Looks A Lot Like a Parking Deck" Parking Deck
  • The Lipscomb Underground Parking Deck

Additional suggestions may be still be submitted.  Have fun.

Know someone who would like the LU?  Direct them to the website to subscribe, or have them e-mail the host.  Also, sign the guestbook when you hit the site.  It's nice to say "hi" to everybody.

Until only 100 hours are required to graduate,
I am,



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LU#5 " You Can't Have Too Many Moogas"
vol. VI, no. 161
September 25,  2000

The opinions expressed in The Lipscomb Underground are solely those of the particular contributor,
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